The Power of Aftercare

I am an absolute stickler for aftercare. It doesn't matter if I am on the giving or receiving end, aftercare is crucial from my perspective. And I believe it is crucial for both Tops and bottoms.



What is aftercare?



Probably makes sense to let you know what I think is included in this category. Yes, I include the traditional time to rub on some healing lotion or gel. Just a quick check of ingredients to make sure there is no alcohol in it. Even the most gentle of lotions will burn a spanked bottom if there is alcohol in it. However, some people start and end with lotion. I believe there is much more.



For the spankee reassurance that all is forgiven, if this is a punishment spanking, is crucial. If it is a therapy spanking then it is appropriate to reassure that the issue is now resolved and you can let go of it. There is nothing more comforting to me than to realize the slate is clean and I know it won't be brought up over and over again. I paid the price and the issue is resolved.



For the spanker reassurance is also critical. This person has just finished inflicting a painful experience on someone they care for. They need to be reassured that what they did was appreciated not resented. I always thank the person who spanks me. After all they are taking the time to set me straight and to demonstrate caring. If it is a fun or Just Because spanking I am sure to let them know how much enjoyment I got out of it.



Both parties need to hug and caress each other. This does not necessarily need to be erotic, it can just be caring and comforting. If the spankee is crying, then they need to be soothed and allowed to cry it out. This is often the time for soft, caring words. I know I love hearing that I am not only his naughty girl but his beautiful woman. If appropriate it is a good time to tell the spankee how proud you are of their acceptance of the spanking and how well they took it. The amount and extent of this will vary from couple to couple. And just my opinion, I don't think there is one right or wrong way to do this.

When does aftercare occur

Now I am walking out onto a limb with this one. I believe it should occur immediately following the spanking. I do not believe in sending someone off into a corner or alone into another room after a spanking. After all a spanking is supposed to be an act of caring, why would you send someone away from you after you have demonstrated caring.

I understand there are differences of opinion on this. The first time my partner gave me a punishment spanking he hugged me afterwards and told me to go to the corner. I did as told, of course. It lasted about 30 seconds when he called me back. He said, "You belong in my arms, not trembling and crying in a corner." I couldn't agree more. He held me on his lap and rubbed my back and wiped away my tears. It was one of the most incredibly touching moments I have ever experienced.

That leads me to another reason for immediate aftercare. It is a time of reconnection for the couple involved. This is most crucial with people who are in a longer term relationship. Aftercare gives an immediate opportunity for the two of you to reach that place where you forgive, love, and demonstrate care and concern.

The big controversy....intimate contact

First of all, I regard spanking itself as intimate contact. If I am being punished I am usually nude over his knee or over two pillows on the bed with nothing left to the imagination. Now it might just be me, but it doesn't get much more intimate than that. It is also a fact that the act of spanking is stimulating a pretty important erogenous zone, which is why many spankees demonstrate sexual excitement during a spanking even though they may not be aware of it. I have yet to be spanked for any reason without my body becoming sexually charged. It is nothing I can stop or, for that matter, force to occur.

Now I also believe there is not a thing wrong with being intimate with the person you love after all the smoke clears from your burning bottom. Oh I know lots of people find this highly inappropriate and I respect their right to their opinion. But I believe that after all the talking and comforting is over, after each party is reassured there is nothing more beautiful than making love.

It may or may not occur immediately, in fact for me it usually doesn't occur until after I doze off for awhile. No I am not joking around at all. Getting spanked, especially severely, makes me very sleepy. And there is nothing more wonderful than falling asleep for a short nap in the arms of the man that just demonstrated how much he cares for me by spanking my backside.

But after that nap, well let me just say that all bets are off. I find spanking very stimulating and I don't see a thing wrong with the two of us expressing that feeling. To be honest writing about it is waking all kinds of little demons up. Amazing what just the word spanking can do to me.

Further care

It is most appropriate, I believe, for the spanker to check out the spankee's backside from time to time for bruising or any other problems. Further applications of lotion are also appropriate. Calloused skin is not what anyone wants if they are a spankee. Bruised skin should also be massaged to be sure circulation is good through that area.

But after this point the spankee should not be reminded of what they did wrong. I know there is a possible feeling that this is a good time to say, "now you won't do that again will you." Anything along those lines needed to be said right after the spanking. Once someone is forgiven the matter is closed.

Individual Considerations

Obviously aftercare can take many forms, but it is not just rubbing on a little lotion and letting the person up off your lap. Spanking is an intimate form of communication whether it is punishment or play and the spankee demonstrates a great amount of trust by placing themselves in those positions. Please keep this in mind. Spanking is wonderful but aftercare increases just how amazing it can be. Don't neglect this crucial step.

Some lotions that work well for me

Aloe Vera gel, Shea butter, Honeybun spanking cream, Vitaman E cream, gentle oils, especially KY warming massage oil.

Oh and spankees, that warming massage oil is very nice for a post spanking back rub for the person who just demonstrated such care and concern for you!