In Our Lives How Do We Commit

Sorry I have been gone for a few days but two of my friends got married. Their entire wedding was done by all their friends and family so I was busily baking and building a cupcake tower. I also was honored to be asked to read the poem I wrote for them at the ceremony.

Now both of my friends are vanilla. However, Mike(the groom)knows all about me and my lifestyle. So this wedding was definitely you may kiss the bride and no hint of you may spank the bride, or the groom for that matter. But as I watched their wonderful ceremony that they created and wrote, they got to the part where they exchanged rings. For the first time I realized that each places the ring on the other one's finger. They don't hand the ring over so you can put it on yourself. I had never really thought of that before. It struck me that it is similar to someone placing a collar or bracelet on you as a submissive. Both of my friends allowed the other to place the ring on them and say, With this ring I marry you.

So I began thinking about my own situation since I do have a partner I love very much. Now I have nothing against rings at all but I started looking at the alternatives. I have thought about collars before but only certain types. Please understand I am not criticizing anyone else's choice, just discussing what my preference would be.

So I thought about rings, collars, bracelets, and ankle bracelets. Rings, of course, are highly tradtional and signify a never ending circle or a non ending relationship. Rings are not, however, put on with the stipulation that you cannot remove them without your partner's permission. My wedding back in 1974 was very traditional in this way and we exchanged rings which we mutually agreed to remove seven years later. I was not in a spanking relationship at the time and, in fact, thought I was extremely weird for even having those thoughts. I have not been married again since then.

Now the topic of collars is usually one that really generates conversation. First of all I must admit I could never wear a tight leather collar or anything that even resembled an animal collar. I would find that humiliating, although I have no problem with those that don't find it uncomfortable. I could and would, however, wear a necklace type collar that was put on me and locked on with only one person having the key to that lock. Since I am a switch I do believe he might have to demonstrate his committment by a similar act, but perhaps not a neck collar depending on his feelings about jewelry. In fact I am beginning to become quite attracted to this idea.

My feelings would be before a regular ceremony the two of us would have a special private ceremony, perhaps witnessed by a few friends that are like minded. We would share with each other our willingness to obey certain rules and enter into an agreement that our partner would have the right, and indeed the responsibility to punish when necessary. Of course, by this point we would have discussed and developed this relationship already. This would be the time to place the collar and lock it. I do believe some fine alternatives are bracelets that lock as well. Ankle bracelets are lovely and I do wear them, but having one you can never take off is very impractical from my point of view. Consider pantyhose, tights, and socks during colder weather. It would make for a very uncomfortable alternative.

The types of collars I have looked at are lovely pieces of jewelry that often have locking hearts or other symbolic pieces on them that are special for that couple. After this short private ceremony, there might be a more traditional ceremony for a larger number of family and friends, with the traditional exchange of rings. Again, for a couple in this lifestyle I believe it is important to write your own vows. I would want to give my partner my willing gift of obedience and, if he is so inclined, accept the same from him.

I also think another lovely alternative are each of us exchanging bracelets that lock on. Since they can come in both men and women's sizes this might be a lovely alternative to collaring.

Now you may be wondering why I feel this need. Again, as in previous posts, I am not sure how to explain it, but I think it would be a beautiful indication of a different type of committment than that of the traditional marriage ceremony. But I should also add, I would want it as part of a ceremony we create, not just something we do some afternoon. My feelings about spanking go deeper than play (although I love that too). I want to be care about and for. I want to be protected and cherished even though I am respected as an adult. And, oh, how I want to provide those same options to my lover should he want that as part of our vow and promise to each other.

So now that I have gone on and on, I wonder....how do some of you feel about this subject? Do you feel a need for this or is it just an unnecessary symbol? I do hope I get some comments on this. It is a subject that is much on my mind lately. As with many such topics where spanking is concerned, I never thought I would ever even consider it. Just shows how wrong you can be.

Oh and I also think on our wedding night a good hairbrush spanking might get things started off on the right...."foot", so to speak.