Back to the Therapy Couch

It was such a delight to have my "older brother" here last week. I don't get to see him very often so each opportunity is wonderful.

After we had talked awhile about his trip I found myself looking down at the bedspread as I got a lovely good girl spanking. I am never sure with those spankings what is better, the spanking part or the caressing part. In any case, I found myself taking a trip to sub space. Tht is always fascinating because you know you are being spanked and your bottom hurts but those brain chemicals just make you feel as though you are somewhere else, perhaps in a galaxy far, far away,lol. Oh yes, that was such a pleasure.

Afterwards we had a cuddle and both dozed off. I often take a nap after a spanking, it just makes me so sleepy. We do not have a sexual relationship but we both are into hugging. Actually I hug all my friends and family. Affection is very important to me.

This time around I made dinner for him instead of going out. I loved cooking it and he certainly seemed to love eating it. It did my Jewish mother's heart good. I love cooking and feeding the people I love. After dinner we went for a walk to the frozen custard shop(the real thing by the way).

By the time we got back it was definitely the moment for a serious discussion. I had been feeling terribly stressed out from a number of events in my life. My relationship, the death of a good friend, being rude to my partner from frustration and just a number of issues weighing on my mind. Now my big brother knows very well what his little sister needed. He knew I did not need to be punished, I really had done nothing to be punished for. But I did certainly need a trip over his knee on the therapy couch. We had discussed it before he got here and agreed it would probably help a great deal.

The biggest issue is my relationship with my partner. I am not going to go into details but it does have some truly stressful aspects to it. He helped me undress for the spanking and then asked me to tell him what it was that I needed to be spanked for. He was very gentle about all this, well actually he always is. But I could tell there was no disciplinary tone in his voice. He was wanting to help me get some of this out of my system.

He had me lay over his lap and I took a pillow to cry into because I knew this would release a great deal of emotion. He talked to me as he rubbed my bottom. We discussed the different situations and why they were causing me such stress. But surprisingly he focused on my rude remark to my partner. He asked me how I felt about this and I honestly answered that I felt terrible. Here was this lovely man already in a dreadful situation and I lose my composure and talk to him in such a way. ( truly what I said was relatively mild but it is how I saw it that mattered). My brother asked if I wanted to be allowed to speak to him this way and, of course, I answered no.

He began paddling me with my purple paddle, not too hard but I could certainly feel the sting. He had restrained just my hands so I would not put them in the way of the paddle or other implements. I could feel the emotion rising in me very quickly. Oh how I needed this. The paddle began to fall with more force and in fast smacks one on top of the other. It stung so, that I could feel the floodgates opening. For once in my life I gave it up immediately. I did not try to hold back at all. I began crying and sobbing. Each time he asked if this is what I needed, I didn't hesitate to say yes. I repeated that I never wanted to be allowed to take to my partner this way for any reason. I laid my head on the pillow and cried.

The spanking continued, and I once again felt myself giving in. I never pulled away, tried to kick my legs away or move out of position. He stopped using the paddle and rubbed my bottom for awhile telling me how proud he was of how well I was handling this spanking. One thing I totally appreciate about the two men in my life is they are strict but never mean to me.

As my spanking continued with the bathbrush I simply sobbed into the pillow. It truly hurt my bottom but it also was doing a great deal of good for my heart and soul. The last ten spanks were very hard but then it was over.

Now I am also lucky that both men in my life believe in and understand aftercare. He immediately released my wrists and held me very close soothing me. After I started to calm down he rubbed a cooling lotion into my bottom and then held me close once again. My brother always talks to me about how proud he is of my willingness to take the spanking I am given. He also praises the fact that I am always honest and never lie to get out of anything. But he is most impressed with what he calls bravery. He thinks bottoms are extremely brave to offer up their backsides with such trust, knowing it is going to hurt.

As I thought about that I realized how much of this is based on so many trust issues. Trust that the Top won't injure you, trust that the Top knows you and your needs, trust that the bottom will honestly discuss what they have done or need, trust that the bottom will accept your decisions. So much trust....its amazing that anyone ever goes through with this. But I know I will again and again. The relief I felt after it was over was incredible. Now please understand this was not punishment and didn't feel like punishment. But it provided what I needed to, at least temporarily, let go of some of the stress.

Our visit was lovely indeed. He is a wonderful brother and friend. I am a lucky woman to have such friends in my life. And don't misunderstand me, I went through years of therapy, I am not putting it down at all. It helped me immensely. But, for me, there is nothing like the therapuetic release of a spanking meant for that purpose to free me from some of the emotions that choke me up.