One of the interesting aspects of the spanking party I am attending is their attitude that the Tops may be spanking but the bottoms are in charge. Now this is along with the rules; safe, sane, consensual, and NO means NO.
Nothing is done without asking the spankees permission. That includes raising skirts and lowering panties. You can't be forced to count spanks if you don't want to. No one can force you to stand in the corner. Safewords must be respected and implements agreed upon. Now that really pertains to the people you are meeting at the party to play with. Of course, if you are there with your partner and mate your play may take other forms and certain understandings may already be in place.
The people that belong to Crimson Moon are diverse indeed. It is not specifically DD, D/s, or BDSM. Anyone in the scene is welcome as long as they respect the rules and the rights of others. For example, bare bottoms are allowed in the social room for spanking, but no other nudity is allowed except in private rooms. And activities other than spanking can only go on in private rooms. Since this group has been doing this for fourteen years they certainly know what they are doing. And all you have to do if someone bothers you after you politely refuse is tell a board member.
So I feel safe attending this event. I think it will be a voyage of discovery in many ways. I am still considering the private vs. public issue. But in any case I do have a few hard lines I don't cross;
No hog tieing or extreme bondage
I don't count strokes, it diverts my attention from where I want it focused
Ok I usually don't stand in corners but I probably would if asked to as part of play
No soap in the mouth
No implement or play that breaks the skin
No sexual touching unless it is my partner
Safe words must be respected immediately
I can only hold positions where I am somewhat supported due to physical issues so I can't bend over, hold my knees and get spanked or caned.
Please ask before you move my clothing
As of right now that is where I am at. I know it sounds like topping from the bottom but it really is about safety and comfort. If I am insecure I certainly can't enjoy myself.
Let me know what you think. And as far as the cuffs go, if they weren't metal, I wouldn' t mind.
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6 comments:
These sound like sane sensible guidelines to follow for a party. Obviously when playing with your partner you would not be able to call the shots but I thing you are approaching this new situation very wisely!!
Hugs,
PK
You make very good points. And don't be afraid to top from the bottom...there is nothing wrong with it and sometimes it's absolutely necessary...although sometimes it gets mistaken for bratting you have to let the person spanking you know you are serious.
Can't wait to meet you at the party...love your blog!
Hugs,
Cigi
I agree with PK and knowing what you will and won't do ahead of time should hopefully take out some of the angst you may feel. To be honest I think it all sounds like a lot of fun.
Hugs
Dove
Purple, I hope that you have a lot of fun.
If you are playing with people you don't know well, rules are essential.
Enjoy.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
You know as much as I love the whole spanking thing, and I do, one of the best parts of this party is meeting people of like minds. It will be wonderful not having to watch what I say about this particular subject.
Hugs,
Purple Angel
You have very reasonable limits. We found at our spanking party experience, limits were well respected by all. Does make it very comfortable. Now, what we didn't have was bare bottom spankings in any sort of public area (only in private rooms). Would have loved for there to have been some bare bottom fun at the Vendor Fair. Hotel wouldn't allow it though.
:)
~Todd & Suzy
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