Safewords, their place in this world

When I first started out in this lifestyle I was told I always, yes always, needed a safeword. And actually it made perfect sense. Part of being spanked are words like ouch, no, stop etc. Its just part of the whole situation. I know very few spankos who just look at their nails while being spanked and heave a sigh of boredom. And if they are they need to find another spanker.

So I had my safewords. Like so many I had the traffic light colors for safewords. Red for stop right now, yellow for please slow down a bit, and green for hey what are you waiting for. Now the problem was that I was letting my submissive side govern me and I wasn't sure it was appropriate for a true submissive to use a safe word. Hey this lifestyle can have its confusing moments. In fact the first real spanking I ever got I had to turn around and say, "Are you sure you have spanked me enough?" So safewords never entered the picture and the unfortunate part is that the one time I should have used one I didn't.

I played with someone I met I on the internet. Now I did everything I was supposed to. We emailed, chatted, met for coffee and got to know each other. Then, even though, there was the tiniest bit of "maybe not" in my gut I agreed to play. Things started off alright but then he lost his temper. The loose cannon I had recognized in him came to life in one horrible moment. No, you don't need the details except one. I include it because I really don't want anyone else to go through this. He whacked me so hard on the side of my hip with a wooden paddle that he forced the replaced hip through the pelvic bone. Needless to say my hip had to be replaced again. Now in all fairness, the hip had not been put in properly but his final blow was the finishing touch.

Yes, from that point on I became the most careful of women. First of all I NEVER play with anyone I have the least weird vibe from. I follow my intstincts and they have worked well for me. And fortunately from that point on I never had to safeword again.

OK, let's fast forward. Now I have two men in my life that hold me accountable. My "older brother" let me know that there would be no safe words between us. I was shocked to say the least. He explained that he always has a safe word with women he plays with or does not know well. But with women he knows very well and the ones who are accountable to him he learns our body language and when it is obvious we have taken what is necessary to get a point across. And of course during those lovely play spankings a safe word would never be necessary. In fact I never want those to end.

So I have two different standards whether I am being spanked or spanking someone else. With those I know very well and love very well there is no safeword. The safeword is our love for each other.