Ghost of Spankings Yet to Be

This weekend my big brother is coming to visit me. I truly can't wait to see him. But if you read my blog you know part of his visit is taking care of some unfinished business that occurred about a month ago. While I don't feel it is necessary to explain what I did that was wrong, suffice it to say it was a very serious matter. And while I did get spanked over the phone, self spanking at his direction, we both agreed that for my peace of mind and to really bring home the point that this must never happen again, I needed a real spanking when I saw him.

Although he and his wife did attend GC's lovely house party, that is not the time for this kind of spanking. First of all, it is always private and secondly my focus was on my SO and not on dealing with what I was due for very poor judgement and carelessness. The matter had to wait.

Now waiting, in my opinion, is sometimes part of the spanking that can be extremely painful. You know you are in trouble, you feel guilty, you have let yourself and others down, and you broke your word never to do it again. At that point I so want that spanking so I can be forgiven and so I can begin to forgive myself.

Well the waiting is almost over and I do know what to expect. My brother has given my real and serious spankings before. I think first it is important to know what I don't expect and will never get. I won't be humiliated, but I may feel embarrassed. I won't be sent off to stand alone in a corner but I will be expected to read aloud the letter I sent him detailing what I had done and how I felt it needed to be handled. I won't be beaten but I will certainly be soundly spanked. I won't have a safe word, but I will be totally safe and cared about.

As for what I know will happen, he will spank me and it will hurt. My mindset will not be in pleasure mode, it will be focused on the fact that I did something potentially harmful to myself. His lecture will be in a soft voice but I assure you the tears will flow before he is done. I know I will get a loving hug before this all starts and I can be assured I will get hugs when it is over but there is that in between time.

When my older brother spanks me, he often does some lecturing and questioning during the spanking. I believe it helps me stay centered in the present situation and why it is happening. So he may ask if this is what I feel I deserve, is this what I need. He may remind me of what happened or ask me to remind him. This is a bit tough to do when you are crying hard. And I will have no say in the intensity, duration, or implements. I trust him with all of that.

What I can count on is an extremely red bottom that will sting and burn for quite awhile. I can also count on loving aftercare, big hugs, and total unconditional forgiveness. So although I know when I see him unbuckling his belt part of me will be saying, "Oh no", and the other part saying, "Yes please".

Hopefully my visit with the ghost of spankings present will prevent a visit from the ghost of spankings yet to be. One can always hope.

Teaching Tim-F/m spanking fiction

Teaching Tim

The coffee shop was fairly quiet for a Friday afternoon. Tim sat alone in a booth and looked at his watch yet again. Only one minute had passed. Damn the time was moving slowly.

He had arrived early for his appointment, hoping to really make a good first impression on the person he was meeting. But it looked as though she was going to be right on time, if not a few minutes late. He drummed his nails on the table, wondering again what he had gotten himself into.

The mission Tim was on had started several months ago. He was intensely interested in spanking, especially if he was the one on the receiving end. There was also a need in his life for discipline and order so the spanking he was seeking was not purely recreational. Towards this end he had browsed various sites and chatted with women but found most wanted to be spanked and not spank him. While he didn’t mind giving the occasional spanking, he much preferred being on the other side of the lap. He found it exciting, stimulating, and intensely erotic. At the age of 28 he really hadn’t had many spankings except the ones he received as a kid, but he certainly felt the need to have more. Besides that, he wasn’t at all proud of some of his behavior lately. Tasks around the house were ignored until they simply had to be done, and then were usually done late at night when he finally got around to it. Some of this was carrying over into his work life as well and that was completely unacceptable. He was in a position of responsibility and, he was, after all, a grown man. Then why wasn’t he acting like one?

He had run into Samantha online about three months earlier. They had chatted pleasantly at first after establishing they were both spankos. Tim had sighed to himself as Samantha explained she was a sub, but his spirits rose as she also explained she did spank male friends who requested she do so. As they chatted he explained his dilemma and what he thought could help him solve it. Unfortunately they lived about 180 miles apart. Although Samantha was sympathetic, she often found herself in similar situations, that were an awfully long trip to give someone a spanking. Tim then suggested something he had already experienced, getting a phone spanking. He explained that he would self spank according to her directions.

There was a long moment of silence and then Samantha stated quietly that, yes that could work. But only under certain conditions. Without Tim asking she listed them for him. He would have to agree to be totally open and honest with her about whatever behavior issues they were dealing with. She would not play twenty questions, he would need to confess. All decisions were hers to make once they agreed to the terms. There would be no hedging, no complaints about unfairness or the agreement would come to an end.

Tim didn’t quite know how to respond, he wanted this but he hardly knew this woman. Sensing his confusion, Samantha suggested they talk a bit more about themselves. Tim had already told Samantha a good deal and she reciprocated. He found out that she was much older than he was. In fact she was twice his age. She was a teacher and had a grown son about Tim’s age.

Suddenly things seemed to be much clearer in his mind. He really liked the idea of being spanked by an older woman. First of all chances are that she would know what she was doing, secondly, it would have more of a disciplinary aspect to it. He agreed to her terms. She asked him if he was really sure about this. And to his surprise he really was and wanted it right now.

Samantha laughed and said, “No not tonight, you need time to think this over but we will set 10:30 on Thursday night for your first session. They exchanged phone numbers and Tim agreed to let Samantha call him.

Then her voice changed. There was no mean or harsh tone to it, just a sternness that had not been there before. “Very well young man, you have told me some of the problems you have been having. So here are the behaviors you are accountable for. First of all there is to be no procrastinating unless you are truly ill or there is a family emergency. Your house will be in order and your projects at work will be completed on time. Secondly, you are welcome to go out with friends on the weekends but if you stay out late enough and drink enough that you cannot meet your goals the next day you will get spanked for that. Is that clear?”

Tim heard himself quietly stating, “Yes ma’am.”

Again that stern voice, “Thursday evening you have your hairbrush and have two pillows in the middle of your bed. And once again I expect total truth.”

Again his quiet, “Yes ma’am.”

“Alright then I will speak to you on Thursday night but we can chat online during the next couple of nights if you like, especially if any questions come up.” She wished him a good night, told him to behave himself and then signed off.

It was hard falling asleep that night wondering how Thursday would go. Over the phone spankings were usually ok but left him wanting more and always wishing there was someone there to hold and caress him.

So for the next few days Tim tried to do what he was supposed to but the bad habits were so ingrained. Laundry was piled everywhere and housework just was left undone. He fell behind on several projects at work because of not focusing his attention where it needed to be.

In the evenings when he chatted with Samantha the conversations were usually friendly and she answered any questions about spanking that he asked. He wasn’t sure how she could give him aftercare over the phone but she assured him she most certainly could and would.
Finally Thursday came just when he had doubted it ever would. At 10:30 the phone rang and true to her word it was Samantha. The stern tone was back. Tim gulped as he listened. “Well young man, you have told me a little about how the week went; now I expect to her the rest before we go any further.”

Tim thought for a minute, “Well I am sort of behind on a few things.”

“There is no sort of behind Tim, you either are or you aren’t.”

“Well it’s not that bad”, he said optimistically.

“I will be the judge of that, please tell me exactly what you are talking about.”

“Well, I have fallen behind on a couple of work projects, and I really haven’t had the time to get my laundry done. But I tried to; really, I just didn’t have the time.”

Samantha’s voice continued in a measured stern tone, “That is pretty close to a lie. There is no trying, either you do it or you don’t. When you set priorities you make time for what needs to be accomplished whether at work or at home. What do you suppose will happen if this behavior continues at work?”

With a somewhat dry mouth Tim answered, “Well I guess I could lose my job, but I always catch up in time. And I am really good at what I do.”

In a softer tone Samantha continued, “I have no doubt you are very good at what you do, but that won’t help if this procrastination doesn’t stop. And a man your age should not have dirty laundry all over his house. That is totally unacceptable.”

Tim gulped, “Well it’s not all over the house, I mean it’s just in the bathroom and bedroom….and I guess some in the living room.”

There was a short silence. “Tim you have broken the agreement we set, isn’t that true?”

“Yes but not a lot”, his mind raced for excuses.

“The amount really doesn’t matter, the actions do. Do you understand what you deserve for this behavior?”

“Yes Ma’am,” he responded, “I deserve to be spanked.” And in spite of the attempt to get out of it, when he finally said it out loud he realized he not only needed it but oh how he wanted it.

Samantha’s voice took on an authoritarian air, “Yes and that is what is about to happen, right now. Do you have your hairbrush and the pillows over your bed?”

Tim felt a small tremble in his stomach. “Yes Ma’am”.
“Very well, you need to remove your clothes and lay down over the pillows with your bottom up as high as you can get it.”

Tim did as instructed. He had been spanked over the phone this way before but somehow this felt different and he wasn’t sure why. He waited for his instructions.

“Young man, I am so disappointed that you have broken our agreement in a way that can jeopardize your job. And that you care so little for how you live that laundry is just thrown down and ignored. Now I am expecting you to follow every direction I give and make every spank count. If they are not hard enough I expect you to tell me so they can be repeated. Is all that understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Now you will start with 25 smacks of that hairbrush hard on the center of each cheek. All in a row, not side to side and about 2 seconds between each one. I will be listening and I will want to hear good solid smacks.”

Tim put the phone down on his bed and turned slightly to one side so he could reach more easily. He smacked his bottom as hard as he could. God it stung! Twenty five times and that was only half way. He took a deep breath and started on the next side. For some reason this hurt even worse than the first twenty five. Man was he glad this was almost over.

It was as though Samantha read his mind. When he picked up the phone and told her he had followed her directions her comment was, “You know we have just begun, don’t you?” The next comment, “They sounded solid, were they hard enough?”

“Yes they really sting, they were hard enough.” Tim reached back to rub just as he heard Samantha say, “No rubbing, not yet.”

“Now young man I want you to deliver 25 solid spanks right in the center of your bottom, on the same spot each time, hard and fast.”

Tim groaned, this was going to burn like hell. He put the phone down and began the twenty five hairbrush smacks. One of top of another in a really sensitive spot. His bottom began to burn and sting. He could feel the warmth of it radiating from his skin.

He picked up the phone once more. “Ok Ma’am, I did as you told me.”

Samantha’s voice was soft but intense, “How does it feel Tim?”

He looked at the phone in disbelief, “It hurts, and it stings.”

“Good, then we are getting somewhere. Now you will spank yourself 25 times at the crease of each thigh where it meets your bottom. These are easier to reach and should good and hard. All in a row, not from side to side.”

He picked up the hairbrush reluctantly and began to spank as hard as he could where directed. As the brush made contact he gasped a bit at the sting. This was the worst spot yet. But as he continued he felt the excitement that had been growing since Samantha had called him. It stung like crazy and he was pretty sure it was getting really red, but it was also causing the same reaction he always got when he was spanked, totally turned on.

As he finished he picked up the phone, “I did as you said Ma’am.”

Samantha’s voice was softer, “That’s very good my dear, and how does it feel?”

Tim reached back and touched his very well warmed bottom, “It stings, really it does.”

“Excellent, then you have done just what I asked. Do you think you learned your lesson this evening Tim? Are you ready to make a more substantial commitment to keeping to deadlines and getting your work done?”

“Yes, Ma’am, I will, at least I will try.”

There was a soft laugh at the other end of the phone. “No there is no trying, you either do it or you don’t. And if you don’t you know what to expect don’t you. But for now your slate is clean. I want you to feel me next to you hugging you and gently rubbing lotion on your backside. Can you feel that Tim.”

It was hard to believe but he actually could. He picked up the bottle of lotion by his bed and rubbed some on himself to make the sensation more real. God he was excited.

Samantha’s soft voice continued talking to him, about rubbing his back, rubbing his legs, and how he had done such a very good job tonight. He closed his eyes and his hand reached down to touch himself. Her voice was everywhere. His bottom was stinging but the sensation was exquisite. Before he could stop, talk, or do anything else his brain cleared and he exploded. He gasped into the phone. Tim could practically hear Samantha smiling; she certainly knew what had happened. “See my dear, I told you aftercare was essential no matter where or how you are spanked. Now experience tells me that you are probably more than a little tired by now. And you have work tomorrow. Sleep well; remember the rules and we will talk again soon. But also remember Tim, each time you break the rules the spanking will be more severe.”

They said good night, Tim hung up the phone, and moved the pillows back where they belonged. Oh man that was more than he expected. But he also found himself wanting more. If he could get a spanking like that over the phone, it would have to be so much better in person.
Samantha and Tim had several more phone sessions and each time he expressed his desire to be spanked in person. She kept reminding him of the distance between them and the doubts she had that he really would be happy with an in person meeting. “Remember I am twice your age, on the phone is one thing, but seeing me in person is quite another.”

Tim always disagreed, “Why do you always bring up your age? I don’t care; in fact I like the idea of being spanked by a more mature woman.”

Then at long last during one phone conversation Tim got what he wanted. “Well my dear, I am coming up to your neck of the woods to visit family. If we can work it out I will be happy to spank you, whether it is for discipline or for being really good. That part is up to you.”

The first word burst out of his mouth, “When? When will you be here?”

Samantha laughed and told him of her plans. They talked for a long time figuring out where to meet and here he was waiting in this damn coffee shop for what seemed like forever.

Tim had seen a picture of Samantha so he knew when she walked in the door. She was an older, somewhat attractive woman. And he was so glad to see a smile on her face. She walked right up to his table and held out her hand, “Well Tim, we finally meet.” Her voice was friendly and warm.

They shook hands and she sat down across from him, putting the big canvas tote she was carrying on the seat next to her. “So how are you, its good to finally meet you in person. The picture I saw of you was so far away it was hard to know what you looked like but you are a very nice looking man.”

“Tthanks,” he stammered slightly. “It’s so good to meet you too…finally.” Samantha looked at him very carefully wondering how ready he was for all this. Being a sub/switch, she knew how intense a spanking could get both physically and emotionally. Some people, though, they felt the need were nowhere near prepared for it. They craved it, that was for sure, but it was very different over the phone and in person.

Samantha ordered a cup of coffee and started talking to Tim about all the aspects of his life, his thoughts, anything she could to get a better sense than she had gotten over the phone. Finally she got to the point, “Tim before I ask the next question, are you sure you want to go through with this? Once we get to your apartment and the door shuts the decision is out of your hands.”

Suddenly Tim was much calmer than he had been all morning, “Yes I am very sure. I have no doubts about this at all.”

“Very well then”, and Samantha took on a serious demeanor. She spoke very softly and intensely even though no one was seated near them. “So Tim, how has your behavior been since your last discipline spanking? And please no hedging, no I tried, none of that, just total honesty.”

Tim took a swallow of coffee, “Well, it hasn’t been terrible but it hasn’t been great either.” At the look on Samantha’s face he started again. “What I meant to say is I have broken some of the rules. I have been late with three projects at work, and I finally got my place really picked up last night because I knew you were coming. But”, he said hopefully, “I haven’t stayed out late drinking even one night.”

Samantha looked at him thoughtfully, “Well I guess we both know that it is a discipline spanking then.” She looked at Tim’s crestfallen face, “One rule that isn’t broken does not fix two broken ones and you already knew that before you told me.” The look on his face confirmed what she had said. “I think Tim we had better get going.” She slid out of the booth, took her bag and waited for him. Tim put the money for their coffee on the table and stood to walk Samantha to the door. They walked in silence. He had told her that he lived very close to the coffee shop so it would just be a short walk.

As he opened the coffee shop door he offered to take her bag for her, it looked kind of bulky. “Thanks Tim, it is a little heavy,” she handed it to him.

“Wow, you aren’t kidding, what do you have in here, bricks?”

“No not bricks, just implements I might need for a very naughty boy.”

Tim almost lost his voice, “Oh”, was all he could think of to say. He looked over at Samantha walking next to him. She was so short, for some reason she sounded taller over the phone. Actually she didn’t really look like she could spank anyone very effectively. He was sure this was going to be one big disappointment. Besides he often wondered if being older meant she wouldn’t be strong enough to really make a difference in the strength of spanking a younger man.

Samantha looked at him silently and smiled to herself, she knew what was going through that busy brain. He had questioned her many times about her spanking abilities. Well, there was no substitute for experience and he was about to have that. They had reached his building

Time unlocked the door to his apartment and stood aside to let Samantha enter first. She carefully looked over the very clean and nicely furnished apartment. “Oh Tim this is really lovely, a very nice place.”

“Thanks Samantha” and he went to put down the bag.

“No my dear, the bag goes in the bedroom and from this point on, its Ma’am.”

The bag was lugged into the bedroom and Samantha followed Tim. “Can I get you anything”, he offered putting the bag down next to the bed.

“No Tim, nothing at all”, suddenly the stern, quiet voice he knew from the phone was there. “I think its time we take care of business.” She sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. For some reason Tim had not noticed until that point that she was dressed all in black. She wore simple black knit dress, black stockings with seams up the back, and black patent heels. Her auburn hair was layered and lay in waves near her face. She looked extremely serious.

Samantha immediately took charge. “Tim, please take off your slacks right now.”

At this point Tim was both so excited and somewhat worried that he could think of nothing but obeying her. “Yes Ma’am.” And he did as she asked. He folded his slacks and laid them on the bed and stood in front of Samantha.

She opened her bag and began removing the contents to lie on the bed next to her. Tim watched in somewhat horrified fascination as she removed a hairbrush, a wicked looking bath brush, a leather strap, a thin wooden paddle, a riding crop, and a small thin clear plastic cane. She smiled slightly, “You never know what you are going to need. Now my dear let me explain a few things. First of all I expect complete obedience. Arguing will only get you a longer spanking. Secondly you may wiggle, squirm and kick your legs, however if you try to get away from me, I will put you in the corner and paddle you red. And that won’t count towards your real spanking. Since this is not a first offense it will be a more severe spanking than I have been able to give you over the phone. And, Tim, there is no safe word. If something is wrong other than with your backside you just tell me. I will know when you have had enough. Now is there anything you have to say for yourself before we begin?”

Tim clutched his hands together in front of him. Suddenly he felt like a very naughty boy caught by his mother. “Yes, Ma’am... I am really sorry for not obeying and, and well I need to know something else.”

Samantha looked up at him, “Yes Tim?”

His voice became hushed, “When I get spanked I get, well, excited, I can’t help it. Is that going to be upsetting for you?”

Samantha looked at him in perfect understanding, “No I won’t be the least bit upset, it’s perfectly normal.” She uncrossed her legs. “And now young man, over my lap right now.”

The authority in her voice brooked no refusal. He lay down over her lap. Once again he wondered if such a little person could give an effective spanking. He didn’t have to wonder long. “Tim I am going to start spanking you with my hand to warm up your bottom, then I will take down your briefs. From this point on you may beg, plead, whatever you like, all decisions are mine.” At that point and before he could utter Yes Ma’am her hand began its descent. She smacked hard and rapidly from one side to the other. While it stung it wasn’t really anything Tim couldn’t handle and again he had his doubts about her abilities. She spanked with her hand for 2 or 3 minutes, stopped and hooked her finger in the waistband of his briefs and pulled them down. Suddenly things changed. He felt so exposed. His briefs were pulled down to his knees. She briefly rubbed both cheeks. “Yes nice and pink, just perfect.”

Tim felt a slight shudder run through his body at her touch. The spanking then began again on his bare skin. Smack! Her hand landed flat across the middle of his bottom again and again. “Shit” this stung. “Hey, hey that really hurts”.

Samantha spoke calmly as she continued spanking, “Yes you are right spankings hurt. Tim I am spanking you for your continued problems especially with procrastination at work. That is nothing (smack) to (smack) be fooling (smack) around with.” He winced at each crack of her hand.

She stopped momentarily and the next sensation was a cool piece of wood moving in circles on his bottom. “Today I hope this has an effect on your behavior so next time I don’t have to punish you.” With that he felt the wood lift and the next time he felt it, there was nothing cool about it. It came smacking down hard on the center of each cheek over and over. The stinging pain was unbelievably intense.

Over and over it descended on his bare skin, “Owwwww hey isn’t that enough?” God why did he ever question this woman’s ability to spank. His feet kicked without his even realizing it. “Pleasee I won’t break any more rules, I promise.” Anything to stop that paddle.

Samantha stopped and rubbed her hand over his skin. She could feel the heat but knew they were certainly not done. Tim shivered as her hand rubbed over the punished area. Oh good, she was finished. “Tim stand up please.” He reached for his briefs. “No you leave them where they are.”

“But, I am nearly naked.” And he watched in silent shock as Samantha took the pillows from the head of his bed and place them in the middle nearest to her. “Lay down over those with your bottom up high” she smacked him soundly, “Right now.”

“Yyyes Ma’am,” She wasn’t done, what the hell was she going to do now. Since he was on the bed he could see all her tools of the trade and almost got up when he saw her pick up the bath brush. Samantha put her hand in the middle of his back and pushed him gently down.

“Now you don’t want to be paddled in the corner do you?”

“Nnnno, no way, “Tim wanted to be sure he was understood. He gritted his teeth and waited. Samantha ran the bath brush, bristle side down over his bottom. It stung but felt good too. In fact he could feel his excitement rising. How the hell could he be excited when it hurt this much.

“Spread your legs Tim,” Samantha spoke sternly. “Right now and no arguing.”

Tim could feel rebellion within him but no way did he want more of that paddle while standing in the corner. He slowly spread his legs apart. God he felt vulnerable. Everything was visible to her. He laid his head down on his hands.

Samantha noted this, checked his backside once more. “Tim I am going to spank you with the bath brush on your bottom and at the tops of your thighs. I do believe you will agree to do a much better job at work on your projects. I also believe this will give you a day or two for remembering the lesson.” With that she lifted the bath brush and he knew he wasn’t going to feel the bristles this time. The first smack made him yelp even though he tried to hold it back. She spanked ten times in a row on each side of his bottom. The spanks were hard and had about two seconds between them.

He squeezed his eyes shut tight; no spanking had ever hurt like this. He felt her pulling up the right side of his bottom exposing the crease between it and his thigh. He grabbed the bedspread knowing what was coming. CRACK! The bath brush landed on the most sensitive spot of his bottom. “OHHh NOOO please stopppp”, he couldn’t help himself but it had no effect on Samantha whatsoever. Ten times the bath brush landed until she moved to the other side and repeated the performance. By that point each spank almost took Tim’s breath away. Finally she stopped.

Softly she spoke to him, “So young man, have you learned your lesson? You certainly have a well spanked bottom.”

“Oh God yes Ma’am, I have truly I have.” Although now that she had stopped and was rubbing the punished skin of his bottom with her hand, the pain was becoming somewhat exquisite in its intensity. Why the hell did he always get turned on by this or even want it. He knew he was in for a day or two of sitting very carefully but he could not deny she had given him exactly what he needed and wanted.

He felt her sit down on the bed next to him and there was the soft voice her remembered from the phone spankings. “Now then Tim, you have a clean slate”, she rubbed his back, “and all is forgiven.” The rubbing was in circular motions and then he felt coolness on his bottom. She began rubbing in a soothing lotion. It stung for a moment and then felt incredibly good. “There now you are my good boy aren’t you?” He felt his excitement growing by the moment. Samantha paid no attention and continued her care of his bruised backside. She leaned over him and gave him a warm hug, whispering in his ear, “I expect much better behavior from you from this point on young man.”

The whisper was more than he could take with all the rubbing and caressing. His body exploded and he went limp over the pillows. “You alright Tim”, Samantha asked in her soothing voice.
“Yes Ma’am”, he replied exhausted and totally relaxed.

She laughed softly, “Punishment is over my dear, you can call me Samantha now. In fact if I ever get a chance to give you that Good behavior spanking you can call me Samantha throughout.”

Tim turned and looked at her. A Good Behavior spanking? “Hey Samantha what’s the difference. I mean this hurt like hell but was pretty amazing.” He rubbed his backside and winced. “I honestly didn’t think you had it in you. I was wrong, that’s for sure. But what could you possibly do to make it better than this.

Samantha looked at him with a big smile, “Why Tim, to find out you will have to behave yourself won’t you.”

He rolled his eyes and she patted his backside gently, “Believe me my dear it will be worth the effort.”

Tim thought for a moment. Damned if he didn’t believe her.

After the Dust Settles

Well, as I talked about in my last blog I knew I would have to pay the price for the careless behavior I used concerning my finances. I appreciated the supportive comments and, yes, I wish they didn't have to be long distance spankings but I might have to wait months in that case. That's just a little too much anxiety. I mean I know a little is very effective but months worth...I would be crawling the walls, biting my nails, and probably getting myself into more trouble with that awful substance..chocolate.

So I got spanked last night and this morning. Both my partner and my "older brother" felt a need to let me know I was definitely in the wrong. I have to say that I never feel angry about getting spanked for discipline. Maybe its because they do it with so much love and care. But I never feel a grudge. In fact, other than the obvious pain in my posterior, I feel grateful, loved, and cared about. That's just me and that is the way I have always felt when someone cares enough to discipline me to help me do a better job of managing aspects of my life and getting rid of the guilt when I don't.

Unfortunately this is not the first time this problem has occured so the spanking was necessarily more severe. Actually both spankings were more severe. I was soundly paddled both last night and this morning. (And I do mean soundly). I had to apply Ben Gay so it felt like I was being spanked from the inside out. I was also strapped and had to use my small lexan cane on myself. If anyone thinks sitting is easy today, well you are not in this lifestyle.

But there is an upside to all this as there always is. I am always forgiven and reassured I am loved. Even though the hugs take place over the phone and/or computer they are so freely given. It gives me a chance to cry and purge those horrible guilty feelings. And both of these wonderful men then tell me we will go on to solve the problem, which they are willing to help me work out.

What more could I ask for? Love, care, understanding, help, discipline, and the understanding that they will always be there. It amazes me that this is the case. This is not what I experienced growing up. Yes, it is a big mess I made. Yes, it will take some time to clean up. But, no, I have not been deserted, there are loving, caring people on my side. Granted it was my backside last night and this morning but I did remember to thank them for that as well. No I am not crazy, I always thank those who demonstrate their love and care.

So to those of you who took time to write supportive comments, thank you as well. I do appreciate it. Real life is much better, but this is better than what I used to have.....nothing.

Wish This Was Fiction

Boy oh boy I wish this blog was a fictional story. But its not. My finances are screwed up again but good. At this point in my life I live on disability which is extremely difficult. Medicaid is supposed to pay for co pays my private insurance doesn't cover but they are not for some reason right now.

And, even though it was ill advised, I have loaned money to someone else who has not paid it back yet. However, regardless of this my bills must be paid as everyone's are. And I am not one to blame others for my mistakes. If I make a mess I clean it up and then pay the price. I have a feeling I am going to be paying an awfully big price for this one and it won't just be in bank charges.

Now you might think I am complaining about the punishment I know will be coming and I know I deserve. This is one of the issues I am accountable for. No, you won't hear any complaints from me about that. I deserve it, whatever it turns out to be.

Here is the hard part. I have to self administer this. I hate that. As far as I am concerned there is nothing worse than giving yourself the spanking you are told to give. It just isn't the same thing. Yes, I do it as best I can and I always end up with a very sore backside. Yes, I am always forgiven and reassured I am loved and cared about. But when I hang up the phone or get off the computer there is, ultimately, no one here. Well, the cats are here but, as much as I love them, its just not the same.

I don't know, maybe it is a better punishment for what I have done. Maybe having to do something that I hate so much is what I deserve. However, it sure doesn't feel like the better option. I need to see the look on his face before and after. I have a wonderful imagination and can imagine being hugged and held but its just not the same no matter how hard I work to make it feel real.

So once again I am in the financial lion's den and yes, I do deserve punishment, that is not in question at all. But oh I do wish it were in "real life". Letting yourself give into what you need is very difficult when you are the person administering it.

It does occur to me at these times, that this can be a difficult lifestyle to keep working. However, I intend to try no matter what. But right now I would like to crawl under the blankets and sleep for about a year.

The Teacher Learns a Lesson-M/f spanking fiction and fantasy

This story has some explicit sexual content, just in case you don't care to read that.

I knew when I had started the rumors that it really wasn’t wise, but someone had to get rid of the bozo running our school. So I casually let it be known, that I had heard, and of course I hoped no one would repeat it, that he was gay. Not that there was anything wrong with that, oh of course not. Just that I hoped no parents found out.
Evidently from the note I had received, word of this rumor had circulated back to Mr. Boz…umm Mr. Boseman. Waiting in his office after school made me feel slightly ridiculous but it also gave me time to figure out what I was going to say. I knew I had better have my words in place, he could be very intimidating. That was only one of the reasons I couldn’t stand working for him. The other one was his infuriating attitude towards women. The condescending politeness, overbearing and ridiculous protective rules such as not letting us work in the building alone at night. What was this, the 50’s? As I sat I seethed and thought of what I would say to him.
My foot tapped impatiently as I heard his footsteps echoing down the hallway. Suddenly the air in the room felt warmer and stuffier and my impatience began to beg for some extra time to put my thoughts together. But at that point he walked in the office and time was definitely up.
I sat up straighter in my chair and composed myself as he walked in and seated himself behind the desk. I had to admit he was a very good looking man, tall and imposing with silver hair and a very appealing smile. However, he was not smiling at the moment.
He cleared his throat. “Ms. Smith, it has come to my attention that some very unsavory rumors have been circulating through our school community.” Good grief he wasn’t wasting any time. “Furthemore Ms. Smith, on investigating the source of these rumors they always seem to come back to you. Now I would like to give you a chance to explain your part in this or whether I have my information wrong. But I will tell you this, you have been overheard telling this to others at least six times that I am aware of. Have you any explanation?”
I stared back with no expression on my face. “Well Mr. Boseman I have no idea what rumor you are speaking of. I certainly haven’t heard any.”
“No you haven’t heard any, you have started them. Hmm so it seems you are willing to lie as well to get out of this.” He handed me three sheets of school letterhead. My hands shook slightly as I read the three affidavits from people I hadn’t even spoken to who had overheard me talking to others.
I tossed the papers down on his desk, “These prove nothing, its my word against theirs.”
“That would be true if I weren’t one of the people who overheard you when spreading these vicious lies in the lounge. I happened to be in the rest room, young lady and heard every word.”
Oh shit, this wasn’t good at all. My mind raced. How would I ever get out of this?
He continued, “Furthermore if I were gay there would be nothing wrong with it. You should be ashamed of yourself for making it sound as if it is a moral failing. I am surprised at you. Did you not think of the impact this also might have on my wife and children if the rumor got back to them before me? This is very childish behavior for a supposed professional woman. If you have a problem with me personally I would think you would have enough character to come to me and discuss it rather than try to destroy me with lies.”
I shrank back into my chair. There was very little I could say. Unfortunately he was absolutely right.
“Now Ms. Smith I have the problem about what to do with you. I could take this documentation to the board and I assure you it would be grounds for dismissal. You don’t have tenure yet and that would be the outcome. But I also know you are a very fine teacher and I don’t want our children to lose out.”
Oh God maybe I was off the hook.
“Nevertheless this demands consequences. Now first of all I should tell you I have called your husband to tell him of this situation.”
I sat back up sputtering, “But you had no right to do that, I am an adult. That was none of his business unless I chose to tell him.”
“Well now you are hardly acting like an adult are you? Is this the way an adult handles professional problems in the workplace?” It was definitely a rhetorical question. “Plus I have old fashioned notions about a husband’s right to know things. Just as I would call the parents of any naughty girl caught misbehaving at school, I called him and told him what I was going to offer in the way of consequences.”
My voice even sounded sarcastic to me, “I suppose you will have me write on the board 100 times, I will never spread rumors.”
He stood up and shut the door to the office. Then he stood over my chair. Patiently he answered, “No I have two alternatives for you. It is entirely up to you. The first I have already outlined. I would go to the school board with the documentation I have already shown you. That would insure your dismissal. The second alternative is the only way you will be allowed to stay here.”
We stared at each other. “Alright what is my other alternative.” I could not imagine any other consequence.
“I will treat you as I would have treated any young lady who did such a thing in my younger days when such behavior would not have been tolerated. I intend to soundly spank you before you leave here this evening.”
“What”, I had intended to sound indignant but my voice came out as a squeak.
“It is entirely up to you”.
My stomach lurched and I thought of what would be waiting at home. How could he have known…he couldn’t have. I thought quickly but could not see any alternatives. Why had I ever started that stupid rumor in the first place. I hated the fact that he was absolutely right. There was no excuse for my behavior. It was childish and unprofessional.
He stood looking at me patiently. The clock hand moved silently as I prayed for the floor to drop out from under me.
Finally I decided, “Mr Boseman I am truly sorry, you are right. What I did was unexcusable but isn’t there a more adult way to settle this?”
His look was stern, “No young lady, there is not. Can you honestly tell me you don’t deserve a sound spanking.” He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a wooden paddle.
I couldn’t talk and for a moment I couldn’t even breathe.
Mr. Boseman was done waiting. “ Please come here behind my desk immediately.”
I did as he asked.
“Now Ms. Smith, I am going to bend you over my desk, after you lift your skirt and pull your panties to your knees. Then you are going to get your backside paddled as any naughty girl should be treated. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior. And is such an intelligent and talented professional it is totally unbelievable.”
Oh God he meant it. His face was very stern, and his voice strict but not harsh. Once again I felt that familiar clench in my stomach. That jolt that always went with any words that had to do with spanking. How had he known?
My hands shook, all defiance gone I answered back quietly and respectfully, “Yes sir, you are absolutely right.” I lifted my skirt up to my waist and looked at him pleadingly hoping for amnesty on the panties. He shook his head and motioned that they were to come down. I can’t remember any other time that was this embarrassing. I lowered my panties to my knees and stood there bare from the waist down on very shaky legs.
Once again that stern insistent voice, “Over the desk Ms Smith with your bottom up and your legs spread.”
My response was slow but immediate. I leaned over the desk and gripped the far edge with my hands. My bottom was up over the edge as I stood almost on my toes. I moved my legs apart. Oh God this was horrible, well horribly exciting anyway. And exciting it might be but I knew it would be far from pleasant.
Then Mr. Boseman put his hand on my back, “Ms Smith, can you deny that you deserve this?
I shook my head and looked down at his desk blotter. “No sir, I totally deserve it, but I do want you to know I very much regret what I have done and trying to lie my way out of it.” I knew by this point if he were looking he understood my relationship to spanking. My face must have been as read as my bottom would shortly be.
“Well I am sure you regret it and I have a feeling you will regret it more in the next few minutes.”
With that I felt the cool wood of the paddle pat down on my bottom and held my breath as he raised it. I heard the air swoosh as it came down with a crack on my left cheek. A gasp came involuntarily. The paddle rose and fell over and over. I soon lost count of the whacks my poor bottom endured. The gasps became cries and howls. The burning and sting became intense as the tears started flowing out of my eyes.
“I am sorry to have to punish one of my finest teachers but this won’t ever (smack) be (smack) tolerated(smack). Is that clear.”
“Yes sir”, I wailed, gripping the desk for all I was worth.
But as he spanked he was igniting more than my bottom and I was reasonably sure he knew it also. At this moment though all I could think of was how bad I had been and what would happen when I got home as well.
“Oh please stop, I am so very sorry,” my words had no effect on what he had determined would be the appropriate punishment.
My bottom was squirming and my feet moving back and forth to the rhythm of the paddle.
It stopped as suddenly as it had started. The office was silent except for my sobs and sniffles. I felt his hand touch my backside. My bottom arched to the touch.
“Well I think we have warmed you up nicely.” He took me by my arm and had me stand up. Speaking softly he said, “Go ahead and fix your clothing.” I pulled up my panties and smoothed my skirt down. Oh my bottom felt like someone had lit a fire on it.
Mr Boseman then did something very unexpected. He put his arms around me and gave me a most paternal hug. “Now this is over young lady and we won’t need to speak of it again. No one will ever know what took place in this office. I can promise you that.” He patted my back gently. “But now you need to get home. Your husband and I had a long discussion about this and I have a feeling he has a word or two to discuss with you.”
My tear stained face looked up at him, “I am so very sorry for what I did. You didn’t deserve such treatment. Thank you for not having me fired. And I do promise I will never do such an idiotic thing again.”
He smiled, “No I don’t believe you will Janet.”
I picked up my purse and my briefcase and then impulsively hugged him as I said goodbye.
Fortunately as Mr Boseman had anticipated the school was empty and the parking lot nearly deserted. I got carefully into my car and hissed as I sat down on my poor burning bottom. I started the car and drove home with a tingling backside and an increasing moistness between my legs as I thought about what my husband Jim would have to say. I knew somehow Mr Boseman had known that Jim spanked me when I did not behave appropriately. Well he spanked me for other reasons too but that’s another story. This was definitely a spanking offense. I thought I could make a pretty good case for being already spanked, but Jim would have other ideas and I knew for the evening I was pretty much his, and would do as I was told. The idea had me shivering in delight and fear.
As I pulled up next to Jim’s car in the driveway the front door opened. I know I felt like a very bad girl as I walked up to the door and the look on my husband’s face didn’t help.
His first words confirmed my suspicions about what I could expect, “Janet you are to go straight upstairs to our room and wait for me there.” Before I could move he pulled me into his arms, hugged me and whispered into my ear, “I can’t believe what a bad girl you have been.” My eyes immediately filled with tears as they always do when I am confronted with my sins. As directed I went straight upstairs to our bedroom.
Oh I was in such trouble. On each post of our four poster bed was a length of rope with a wrist or ankle restraint on the end of it. Two pillows were piled in the middle of the bed. On the end table was a heavy wooden hairbrush. At times like this my body has such mixed reactions. Once again I felt a jolt of pure sexual excitement, but my stomach clenched as I understood what I was in for. I sighed and put my purse in the closet and stood waiting for Jim. I noticed the dresser held several objects and when I went over to see I wasn’t sure whether to run like hell or jump out the window. There was a tube of a very well known lubricant, a slim vibrator I had never seen before, and a butt plug. Yes, Jim was certainly determined to make a good girl out of me before the night was over.
Of course it never occurred to me to refuse or be upset with Jim. These rules had been set long ago, I had given my consent and my husband had the right and the obligation to correct my behavior whenever I was in the wrong. I just hadn’t been in so much “wrong” in a very long time. Again I wondered how Mr. Boseman had known about Jim and I. But my wondering ceased as the bedroom door opened and my loving, strict, and very caring husband walked in.
He pointed to the bed, “Sit down young lady.”
About the last thing I wanted to do right now was sit on my poor punished bottom, but I did as he said immediately.
“Janet, I just don’t know what gets into you. What in the world would ever lead you to the conclusion that a smear campaign was the right and proper way to settle a difference you had with your employer.” He crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “An employer, who by the way happens to be one of my clients.”
OH MY GOD, Jim was Mr. Boseman’s lawyer. “Now Jim honey I had no idea, how could I know that.”
“That is hardly the point. You should never have considered such a stupid child like action against anyone. We could have been the ones ending up getting sued. You are incredibly lucky that Mr. Boseman and I have had discussions on the subject of marriage and discipline. So instead of firing you and filing a law suit against you he called me instead.”
My eyes filled up again, “Jim he already punished me, he paddled me so hard right over the desk in his office. Honest.” I was ready to stand up and show him.
“Yes I know, he asked my permission before he even confronted you. And if you think for one minute you are off the hook with me, you are sadly mistaken. I intend to do my very best to assure you never do anything like this again. Now first of all you are getting the kind of spanking any bad girl would get if the principal had to call home about her behavior. Get me the hairbrush Janet.”
Dragging my feet I went to the end table, picked up the dreaded implement and brought it back to my husband.
Without another word, he took my hand and guided me over his knees, lifted my skirt up over my back and pulled my panties down to my knees. “Well it certainly looks as if the principal of your school is proficient in the area of discipline. Do you have anything at all to say about this?”
I tearfully responded, “I am so sorry Jim, I totally deserve this but oh my bottom is so sore already.”
“Then I guess you should have thought twice before spreading vicious rumors.”
As he spoke my stomach began its inevitable fluttering and once again I could feel the stab of excitement coursing through me. I knew he was going to set my backside on fire all over again and I knew he would also be teaching me a number of lessons besides that, but it didn’t matter, my body and mind responded the way they always did. I knew he could feel my legs trembling.
Before I could stop myself my hand reached back to my bottom. It was quickly pinned in place and then I knew my time had come.
The first spank of the hairbrush was followed by a flurry of them one right after the other. My legs kicked and I howled as tears immediately ran from my eyes. On top of the paddling I had already received this burned and stung as no spanking I had ever had. As Jim spanked he spoke briefly, “This is how naughty girls are punished when they do what they know is wrong.” The hairbrush did most of the talking for him.
I wailed, “I am sooooooo sorry, oh I am, never Jim I promise to never do anything like this again. Ohhh please stop.” The words tumbled out and had no impact on my husband’s decision what this particular crime deserved.
The spanking continued as I lay limp over my husband’s lap sobbing like a little girl until my voice began to get hoarse. Just as I thought it would never end, Jim stopped. I could feel how hot my bottom was and the incredible burn was nothing like it would feel tomorrow when the swelling went down and the throbbing began. The only sound in the room was the sound of my sniffling and hoarse sobs. Jim pulled me up into his arms and held me very close. He murmured into my hair that this part was over and I was forgiven. And as always he kissed me very sweetly and laid back on the bed holding me. He gently rubbed my punished backside. I had my arms around his neck and my head pillowed on his shoulder.
I spoke very softly but meant every word I said, “I am so sorry honey, oh this was so wrong and I am lucky that the consequences weren’t more serious. Thank you for loving me enough to take care of me when I need it.”
Rubbing my back Jim reminded me of what I had yet to face. “You are forgiven but the evening is not over yet. You know that don’t you?”
I nodded but I hardly needed to. We both understood the rules. The next part would be embarrassing but delicious, it would leave me feeling totally vulnerable and excited beyond belief. It would reinforce who was in control.
I yawned hugely and Jim smiled. He knew what effect spanking had on me. “Now my dear, you lay down and take a nap. I will have a light dinner ready and then we will continue our discussions.” I never did understand how all these activities were under the heading of discussions, since very little was ever discussed. But I simply nodded and lay on the pillow as he let go of my and covered me with a blanket throw. He was careful to keep the material from rubbing against my bottom. I feel asleep almost instantly.
I woke up as I felt Jim unbuttoning my blouse. It was dark outside and he had turned on one of the lamps at the lowest level. After my blouse came my bra and I soon was totally naked to his gaze. I tried to pull the blanket back up but he got to it before I did. He went to the dresser and got a tray of cheese, crackers and fruit. He laid it on the bed. When I started to sit up my bottom protested quite strongly. The sting was incredible and I put my hand back and rubbed it. I knew there would not be any cooling lotion until a little later on. I sat up in bed gingerly and started to munch on the fruit. I tried to sit but it was almost unbearable. I turned to rest on one thigh, oh much better. As I ate Jim began to get undressed. I was hypnotically drawn to watch him. His body was such a pleasure to look at. When he took the tray I started to protest. Jim smiled, “You can have more in just a minute, after I make sure you are properly treated like the naughty girl you were today.”
My voice got whiny, “But you forgave me, you said so.”
“Yes I have forgiven you but that ends the punishment. We still have a few more little activities to take care of. Now can you deny that being spanked got you excited?”
As always my face reddened, we both knew the answer. “Just as I thought”, he continued. “Only a very naughty girl would get excited over being punished. And that has to be taken care of. Now on your tummy and up on your knees so your bottom is in the air. And get those legs spread apart.”
By this time I was shaking with excitement and yet felt so overwhelmingly vulnerable. Jim made me keep my pussy clean shaven so as I drew up to my knees and parted my legs everything was on display…just as he wanted it. My head rested on my hands and a small sob of nervous excitement escaped my lips. I felt his hands rubbing in gentle circles over the throbbing red skin of my cheeks. He gave me gentle pats as my bottom wiggled. “Hold still”, he gently scolded. The gentle pats felt like fire so I tried to do as he said.
Next I felt a sticky substance being rubbed gently down the crack in my backside and applied liberally to the opening. Jim’s finger entered and assured that the entire area was lubricated. Oh how I knew what came next. “Oh God do we have to do this, Please don’t,” I begged.
The smack of his hand that followed that ill advised remark brought a squeal of pain.
“Oh no you are going to learn what happens to very naughty girls and I don’t want any back talk.” He applied the lubricant generously. “Now Janet go and get one of your thongs, put it on and pull it up to the top of your thighs.” I stood on shaky legs and did as he instructed. “Back on the bed young lady, and get that butt up high”. Once again I obeyed without question. My poor backside couldn’t take much more. I brought back my purple thong and pulled it on to the top of my thighs. “Back on the bed young lady in the same position.” I climbed on the bed, with my bottom high in the air and my head down. I knew exactly what was going to happen next. The muscles inside my pussy clenched hard.

I could feel Jim fastening the restraints on to my wrists and ankles. They were very soft and didn't hurt but there I was fastened to the bed with no way out. Oh how could something feel so punishing and so good at the same time. I felt Jim starting to insert that wicked butt plug. I groaned into my hands. He was always slow and careful, it didn’t hurt but oh God it was embarrassing. “Now then Janet” as he inserted it all the way, “this had better stay put or you know what will happen.” Yes, I knew, he would paddle my backside until it was maroon. He pulled the thong up into the crack to assist in keeping the plug in. “And now young lady, you are getting the strapping a very naughty girl deserves. I don’t want any backtalk either or I will just have to continue.”
My breathing became rapid. I loved it when he strapped me. So there I was, butt in the air, filled with a plug and getting ready to feel the bite of the strap on my red bottom. My hands and feet were held fast but gently. “No Jim, no back talk.” My voice was still hoarse and husky. He knelt on the bed beside me, held my waist tight to him and begain strapping me rhythmically. Jim knew how to make the strap sing against my skin. It tingled but never burned. There was a sting but it never cut. He never laid one mark on top of the other. But it never failed to make my head spin with excitement. Oh God it was so sore but that was fading in my mind for now. It was replaced with totally different feelings.
The strap stopped and I felt something slippery and soft at the opening to my pussy. Suddenly there was a buzzing noise and I felt vibrations going through my body. He moved it in and out and over my clit until I thought I would scream. “Don’t you dare come young lady, not until I tell you to.” Those were always his instructions mostly because he knew that turned me on as well. And no back talk meant I couldn’t even complain. Oh God every inch of me felt full and alive. “Now isn’ t this how naughty girls should be treated?”
“Oh yes, yes”, my answer was immediate and enthusiastic.
Jim leaned over me, the vibrator stopped, he kissed my neck and whispered in my ear……. “Now whose good girl are you going to be?”
I whispered back, “Yours always yours.”
I felt the vibrator pulled away, then the thong was pulled down and the plug taken out. The restraints were released . Jim’s arms pulled my closer as he knelt behind me and entered me. His thrusts were strong, and fast. He was as excited as I was. I felt like I was melting inside.
“Ok baby you can come anytime you want, you are my good girl.” And with those words the spasms inside me began and occurred over and over. I became dizzy with excitement and then Jim exploded inside me.
The room was once again silent as we collapsed on the bed. Jim turned me towards him and held me tight in his arms. I have never felt as loved as I do with my husband. We kissed deeply and he got up to get the lotion to soothe my reddened bottom that I knew I would be feeling for a number of days. I had never had two such severe punishments in one day.
As he rubbed the lotion on tears came to my eyes. I felt so lucky to be in the care of a man who only wanted me to be my best and loved me even when I was my worst.

Sweet Surrender-M/f spanking fiction

I thought I would post a story I wrote quite awhile ago. Just a comment,.I have posted this at another site where some folks got quite upset at the notion of discipline for diabetics. First of all this is fiction, secondly I am not suggesting anyone be disciplined for anything, that is a personal choice, thirdly I would never suggest discipline as a way to control blood sugar that is out of control due to stress or illness and lastly I am a diabetic and so I do have some experience in these matters.

Sweet Surrender

Ross sat dejectedly at the kitchen table. His mood was in direct opposition to the beautiful spring weather outside the window. Breezes blew the blue checked curtains back and forth. He could hear his wife Eve out in the garden singing her favorite songs as she worked on her beloved flower beds.He sighed as he glanced at the small black glucose monitor in one hand and the pile of candy wrappers on the table. The monitor had a reading of 185 and the empty wrappers certainly provided the reason for the elevated reading.

Eve had been diagnosed with diabetes six months ago and was struggling to maintain healthy blood sugar levels. Ross was careful not to bring any sugary treats in the house. And although Eve did a good job of controlling her consumption of most foods, she could not resist candy. She just could not control her craving for it.Ross shuddered when he thought of the complications diabetics faced if blood sugar was not controlled. He could not imagine his Eve facing those horrible consequences.He rubbed his head as he thought of all the ways he had tried to help her. Praising her for when she did well, disapproval when she did not, begging, pleading, bringing her sugar free treats. Nothing worked.At the end of his rope he could think of only one alternative and one only. Discipline.

Ross and Eve had always enjoyed spanking as a playful erotic activity. Ross had never spanked her with anything but his hand and never left her bottom with anything but a dark, pink glow.This would be different. He went to the bedroom to set things up and rehearse what he would do and say. Several times he almost gave up. He hated the idea of hurting Eve but he hated the physical damage she could be doing to herself even more.

With a determined but heavy heart he went down to the kitchen an d called through the window, " Eve, baby could you come in here please"." Sure just a minute" was the cheerful reply. In a minute Eve was in the kitchen doorway brushing garden soil from her hands. She went to the sink and got a glass of cold water. "Boy am I ever thirs......" her voice stopped as she stared at the kitchen table. "Hey what are you doing with my monitor? Are you spying on me"? Her eyes narrowed."No", Ross answered calmly. "I’m worried about you and 185 is an unacceptable number as you well know.".

"Oh honey, I’ll get it under control. It just takes awhile." Plump but pretty Eve put her arms around her husband’s waist and smiled as she gazed up at the solemn _expression in his brown eyes..

Ross shook his head, "No Eve we have tried it your way and now we will be controlling it my way. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom door.

Eve began to giggle. "Ross its the middle of the....."her voice died off as she looked at their bed. Arranged in a row was a heavy wooden ruler, Rosse’s belt, and her own oval wooden hairbrush. "Ross" she said questioningly with fear creeping into her voice.

"Eve", he said with a stern _expression. "Today we are going to try a new way to help you with your sugar problem." He looked into her questioning eyes. "I am going to spank you...hard, not for fun."

Eve’s eyes widened, "Nooo Ross I will try harder, I promise I will."

"No Eve, no more broken promises". Ross pulled Eve to the bed as she tried to pull away from him. "Eve, don’t make this worse than it already is". He sat on the bed and pulled her over his lap[. He put one arm tight around her waist and explained, "Your blood sugar was 185. That’s 85 points higher than it should be. The only reason is overindulging in candy.. Eve began to try and squirm away. He brought his hand down hard on the seat of her shorts. "Stop it or I promise this will be more severe." She stopped wriggling but he could feel her body tense up. "You are going to get 85 smacks. 60 with my hand and 25 with the hairbrush. If we ever have to repeat this I will add another implement each time..

As he pulled her shorts down to her knees Eve began to speak in a panicky voice, "Honey I can’t take that much I know I can’t."As his fingers slid under the waistband of her panties he spoke, " You know what to say if its too much, but I expect you to take it because you know you deserve it."

Eve was silent.The spanking began.Ross brought his hand down hard and fast across Eve’s cheeks from one side to the other. She began to whimper and moan. He moved from side to side, up and down darkening her bottom with the imprint of his hand. Soon Eve was crying and begging him to stop. "Please please I’ll never do it again".

As his hand continued to fall he answered, "I hope so baby, I certainly do".When Ross reached 60 he stopped. His hand felt like it was on fire and he could feel the heat coming off Eve’s maroon bottom. She was sobbing steadily. He took a deep breath. "OK Eve you get two minutes to catch your breath then the hair brush. Eve sobbed relentlessly while Ross silently watched the two minutes tick by. Without a word he picked up the hairbrush and brought it down firmly on Eve’s backside between her two cheeks. She howled and kicked her legs.

The brush came down 24 times each one producing a panicky cry and a pleading," Nooo more".When Ross finished he tossed the brush aside, put his arms around his weeping wife and drew her gently back on the bed beside him. He reached for a bottle of aloe lotion and in a moment was very gently rubbing some into Eve’s burning bottom.

He rubbed her back and smoothed her hair as he crooned, "There love its all over now. Its all over and all is forgiven. Please don’t make me ever have to do this again baby." He continued to rock and soothe her. Her crying slowed to halting sobs and finally stopped. Ross held her close, "Eve are you ever going to talk to me again"?His wife pulled back and gazed into the eyes she loved. She touched his face gently.

"Yes", she murmured. "Thank you"

...that is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way Doris Lessing

A Well Punished Girl

Brings a new meaning to the song lyrics, "Hit me with your best shot, fire away." Part of this is fantasy and part was real. If I tell you it was long distance I am sure you will realize which I could handle as self spanking and what parts are what I was told would happen had I been there.

Yes, the title of the blog is true. I, once again, forgot to open a piece of mail. This is a bad habit I have had in the past that sometimes creeps up on me. Do I do it to get spanked? The jury is still out on that one. Fortunately this time it was nothing important but you would have thought I had not opened a check for a million dollars.

Unfortunately the brat within decided to make an unexpected appearance last night as well shooting out words like...unfair....simple mistake....no big deal. As you might guess this did not help my cause at all.

Now just for the uninitiated, when you annoy the man holding the paddle words such as Young Lady, and the infamous "Discussion" immediately enter the conversation.

And being in bratty mood and not following directions immediately did not help at all. No, in fact it landedme in the corner, (which I hate), where I had to remove my clothes and wait until he was ready.

When I was finally called over it was impossible to miss the wrist restraints attached to a rope over a beam in the ceiling. And guess who had her naughty wrists in those restraints before you could say, Guess what happens now?

So my mood and attitude changed considerably at this point and I became the contrite sinner I usually am. Alas too late for my poor breasts got spanked as did my backside. (He is very careful with my breasts, he does understand the sensitive nature of the tissue). So you might say I was red from head to toe.

By the time he had done a very short breast spanking he took off the restraints and bent me over the arm of the couch. At this point I had pretty well become compliant but extremely tearful. I knew what was coming, that awful lexan cane.

Yes, he wanted to make sure I understood the serious nature of not opening the mail and he felt I was not appreciating the mistake I had made. Ok, I have to agree, he was right. But oh that cane! The first ten strokes stung like crazy but were not very severe. I could feel my bottom heating up. And, as with any spanking, other parts heat up as well. I also have to add there is no more vulnerable feeling then standing bent over with your legs spread completely nude.

The next five were accompanied by a continuing lecture. Now first of all he is a master at lecturing. Never harsh, always stern and very quiet, sometimes a whisper in my ear. These were more severe and at the tops of my thighs instead of across my cheeks.

He stopped then to rub my poor sizzling skin. The next five, as I knew, would be the hardest of all. I was also instructed to say after each one. I will be the best girl I can from now on. As you might guess after a sharp cane stroke my spoken message was delivered with gusto and volume.

Of course the best part was being let up, held, comforted, forgiven and loved. I really didn't think it was that big a deal but evidently he did and his opinion is the one that counts, just as mine is when he screws up.

Since spanking is a turn on for us both, we usually end up making love after all the smoke (from a burning backside) has cleared. I know there are many people who find this inappropriate but it is our way.

So I was expecting a Just Because spanking and instead I got spanked just because of that stupid letter. Hmm I still wonder if I did it on purpose.