
S submissive or dominant, still feel the need.
P ain and pleasure intermingled
A always a sensual experience
N never abuse, never cruel or mean
K kept in your mind, a part of who you are.
I individual needs differ one from the other.
N naughty but nice often how you are seen.
G ot there, staying there, always a part of me
It took me until I was 53 to finally accept and embrace all of this.No, I won't be turning back anytime soon. Although sometimes I do feel like I live in two worlds. Truly can't give up the vanilla part,there are too many people I care about and love. But keeping it all separate is sometimes difficult.In trying to explain all of this to one of my best friends, it seemed at first she could accept it but not really understand my need. Couldn't blame her, took me a long time to get it. But it eventually began to bother her more and more and for the sake of our friendship we had to agree never to discuss it again.


