I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends who happens to be gay. We discuss our lives very openly, so he knows what my particular views on relationships are. As we were talking I referred to my spanko/DD view of life as an alternative lifestyle.
To my surprise he vehemently disagreed. "No it is not an alternative lifestyle, not at all." Now this took me by surprise.
"Well yes it is, this is not something everyone embraces and you should understand that because your lifestyle is an alternative as well." For a moment I thought he was going to tell me that my feelings were merely a sexual kink and no more. But that was not where he was going at all.
He explained that calling our lifestyles alternatives indicated that there was a majority lifestyle and that all others were less desirable alternatives to that particular way of doing things. His next comment floored me. "You might as well say Orientals and African Americans are alternative people because they are not Caucasion." I certainly would never consider that even in the realm of possibility.
For the first time I realized I was using terminology that made me feel on the outside looking in at the general population.
He firmly believes that everyone lives the life that is what they want, need, and desire. Furthermore he believes the term alternative is prejudicial. Although no one is positive why, some of us are just wired to want different ways of life.
So I am interested in what others think on this subject. I have stoppped using the term alternative for the time being. What do you think? Are we living an alternative lifestyle or just being ourselves. Is the term alternative lifestyle a predjudicial term or not? I know he refuses to see his "gayness" as an alternative to something else. For him it is his life just as a straight person lives their life.
I would love to hear your opinion. Does that spanking need set us apart in a different classification or is it simply just our way of thinking and feeling.
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