Negotiate and Communicate

Negotiate and Communicate

First of all this photo should not be viewed as a non consensual event.  But it seemed to convey what I am writing about.

A hypothetical situation

Joan is getting ready to go to a new spanking party.  She has attended others but this experience will be different, it is not in her home state.  She is anxious to meet others online so she attends group chats and comments on posts from others.  The vibe seems so right, and she is becoming comfortable with the group as she gets to know group members online. 

During one chat she meets a man and they begin talking about everyone's favorite subject, spanking (bet you could see that coming).  He identifies himself by his scene name and remarks that he considers himself a disciplinarian.  As he continues he relates that he has disciplined many women over the years and considers himself to be extremely effective (anyone that must praise themself that much usually has a fan club of one).

Joan is impressed and the online conversations continue.  He "speaks" very kindly calling her honey, etc.  Although she is a bit apprehensive, she broaches the subject of discipline.  (Keep in mind this is for a party, not a jail sentence).  As you might predict, he eagerly agrees to discipline her at the party (oy) and makes the following "rules";

No safeword (one red flag on the field)

He chooses the implements(ten red flags on the field)

He decides on how severe and how long(by now the field is bright crimson and the refs leave to buy more red fabric).

Unfortunately Joan agrees to this and, even more unfortunately, does not talk to any women in the group to find out more about this man. 

What's wrong with this picture?  If you don't have an immediate answer than you need to learn what Joan did. 

She played without a safeword

She played with a veritable stranger (online really doesn't help you know someone that well)

She allowed all rules to be dictated to her

She did not negotiate her limits and did not communicate her feelings about what he said.

First of all a party is hardly, in my opinion, the right place to start a new disciplinary relationship.  It is for spanking (or other) play, along with the chance to socialize. 

Discipline requires a connection between two people, and an enormous amount of trust.  It is not only trust with your physical self but also your emotional well being. 

How did I figure all this out?  Sadly experience taught me these hard lessons.  I was in situations that caused me actual physical harm and emotional devastation before I figured out this was not the way it was supposed to happen.   When I attended my first party I was very careful to talk to experienced party goers about each Top that approached me to play.

I love parties, and, oh, how I love being spanked!  I certainly play with men I haven't met, but only after we negotiate!!  And with new men, there is always a safeword.  If they aren't comfortable with that, then we go our separate ways, hopefully, with a smile.  And, just for the record, I love playing hard, soft, and inbetween.  I appreciate Tops who will share that my bottom looks pretty done in, and maybe we better play another time.  Those guys are gems!! 

So what happened to Joan?  Well, she allowed the session to go on as planned, and was shocked at the severity.  Since she had agreed to no safeword she felt honor bound to let it continue ( at this point I would have felt no such compunction).  She ended up with black bruises that lasted over a week. 

Whether you are an experienced spankee or a novice please do remember to communicate and negotiate for all play dates.  Its great when unspoken communication works but devastating when it doesn't



The Bench

        Another Our Need and Desire party has come and gone...sigh.  I do love spanking parties, especially the one I give twice a year.  All my spanko friends and family plus new friends gather in a Chicago suburb for a weekend of socializing, eating, and spanking.  Lots and lots of spanking and, of course, chocolate. 

    
      While tables, chairs, hotel beds, and sofas are fine for spanking, there is nothing like a spanking bench.  The one in the picture was made by Kinky Contractor on fetlife.  It belongs to me and the Our Need and Desire group.  It is a traveling bench but lives in my apartment (Big Smile) when there is no party.  I make sure it doesn't get bored between parties, it is my responsibility after all!

      I love the fact that it is not black and red.  Not a thing wrong with black and red, but this is so much more "me" and the group.  In case you can't tell, the padding is a pink leopard print and the white wood has been decorated by party goers. 

     Our last party theme was School Daze so many naughty young ladies and one (brave) naughty young man were funished in the party room for inappropriate behavior at school.  Yes even my completely angelic self got a taste of the flogger over the bench. 

     If you have never been on a bench let me describe what it feels like when I have my bare bottom over it. 

     Keep in mind I am not talking about a punishment situation so no restraints were used, this was party play.  First you kneel on the bottom "step".  This is your chance to make a few smart ass remarks, bat your eyelashes, and keep the group laughing at your dilemma.  The spanker frowns, promises dire punishments for such behavior, and everyone keeps laughing.  I will admit at this point I am laughing too.

     You are directed to assume the position.  So you bend, and lay your body over the top "step".  At this point I always get butterflies in my stomach, after all I have my back to the group, and soon very little will be left to the imagination.  Spankers always ask quietly ahead of time if you are willing to bare your bottom.  I always say yes...I know, what can you do??

     So up went my skirt and, slowly, my panties came down.  Of course my friend BEN had to point out they said Seat of Education, which got a laugh.  There I am, with my bare bottom in the air and a roomful of people watching.  Good Grief, how does an angel like me END UP this way?

     I got an excellent flogging during which I protested loudly between laughs.  It was wonderful.

     It does look scary I know but being on the bench can be such an enjoyable experience.  The spanker can talk to you, watch your face and body language, and your (ahem) charms are as revealed as your feel comfortable with. 

     Now there are other times that the bench becomes a more serious piece of equipment, but for now let's leave it out for laughs.

Philosophical Ruminations on Punishment

Waiting for the train at Penn Station in NYC. This is definitely a love/hate situation since I love the fact that I am going to visit wonderful friends in Maryland but hate that I am leaving my Daddy/BigBrother in Manhattan. We are just chatting, the train is late (and I say a silent thank you to Amtrak) and he smiles every time my hand wanders to my backside, which throbs, tingles, and aches in a most persistent, and delightful manner. It certainly brings a smile to my face as well and an invisible lump to my throat.
Then he asks, "Any philosophical ruminations on punishment after....". He never gets to finish because the redcap informs me its time to go, the train just pulled in. Suddenly we are rushing to get the bag on the redcap's cart, kissing goodbye, hugging and off I go.
When I board the train and sit (gingerly) there is now time to think about this burning (ok bad pun) question. First of all, I have been part of this relationship for four years, the best years I have ever had in so many ways. This trip is not even close to the first time he has had to punish me. But it is the first time he has been entirely comfortable with my trust level to hold nothing back. And I am here to tell you he did not hold back anything! I should also point out that this is entirely consensual as I gave this right to him quite awhile ago. It also is the first time I have had a huge build up of wrong doing, since I could not be spanked for punishment or any other reason while I was recovering and rehabing from four surgeries.
So my book and I came to NYC as did the butterflies in my stomach. My book, that I am referring to is the one where I am required to write down wrong doing. Since I live so far away, we keep track in writing. His memory is sometimes a bit flaky, and to be honest, so is mine! I had never had so much written down at one time. I am not really into misbehavior and breaking rules as a lifestyle, but the year had been incredibly stressful and I don't handle that kind of stress very gracefully.
Now my trip was not really about "let's punish Valorie for three days". Both my Daddy and his wonderful wife took me out for dinners and to two shows. During the day, when I wasn't staring at the bedspread regretting what I had done, Daddy and I went for long walks, saw a museum, and ate lovely lunches. The weather was beautiful, as though NYC, was agreeing that I had to enjoy my time. But, yes, there were issues to take care of, for both our peace of mind.
Over this four years I have begun to explore what has been there all my life. Spanking is a huge part of it, my first and most prevalent fantasy. I can't remember a time when it was not a part of me. But linked to the spanking was wanting someone to care about me, and to help lookout for my well being. That was not part of my experience as a child or teen. Spanking also took on sexual overtones as I went through puberty, but the wanting and needing to be held accountable was always there. Adding to that mix is submission, which I really had no good handle on until I got involved in spanking. But as with spanking, it has also been with me all my life. Now I am finding ways to act on it but that's another story.
My Daddy totally understands my need, in fact it amazes me sometimes what an absolutely detailed understanding he has. I consider him my Daddy/BigBrother Dominant. He does not make rules frivolously nor does he micromanage, so when he does make a decision that is the law. He decided to deal with the worst offenses in the book first, we had also decided we couldn't do everything during this trip or it really would have been a punishmentfest. I found out during the first spanking that my Daddy had evolved (he now refers to himself as version 2.0).
Prior to this I had always felt as if he was too easy on me but that changed immediately. I have no idea how many times that lexan paddle lifted and fell, I have no idea how many times the bathbrush lifted and fell. But I do know it hurt like hell and I had to fight my own reactions, so I could take it well. (That is very important to me). I was sweating and crying when I finally was able to be cuddled and comforted and told how will I had done. He was very proud of me and I was amazed at how different the intensity had become. My tush wanted to immediately secede from my body and find a different girl, but my heart and mind were rejoicing. It may sound crazy, but this was such a tangible and precious gift of love.
We talked after that spanking and the eight others that followed during those three days (oy). My bottom was bright red most of the time, and it is still pinkish even now. Usually it takes a great deal for my bottom to color and stay colored. There were and are slightly darker tones at the sit spots and slight abrasions on the cheeks. Of course each spanking that came after that first one hurt from before the first smack and, two in particular, literally took my breath away. No warm ups, no rubbing until later, this is punishment. By the end of nine spankings I was a very chastised woman/little girl. And the relationship with my Daddy had deepened in a way I had not realized would be possible. I asked him twice to continue with two that I didn't think I had handled as well as I could have. That is, of course, his decision, but he knows it is important to me and he agreed. So his three lexan paddles, his belt, and that bathbrush tattooed my tush, and taught me many lessons.
It also relieved much of my guilt over the mistakes I had made. My hope is that I won't make the same mistakes again but if I do I know what to expect. A big hug, a hell of a spanking, and then comfort and forgiveness.
No one has ever cared about my well being or my life outcomes as he does. It truly scares him when I engage in stupid actions that threaten my health or safety. And never once, have I ever felt abused or badly treated. No matter the severity, it is as real as the love he offers so generously.
Yes, I have thought a great deal about all this, and I am quite sad that the soreness is now gone. I loved that reminder every time I sat down or bent over to pick something up. It was a reminder that I have now what was a lifelong fantasy but is now reality. His overwhelming need to spank me when I am bad and my overwhelming need to take that spanking and feel the love in every swat.
Thank you Daddy, Thank you Big Brother, thank you for all you do to make my life so much better and happier. There will never be enough words to express it, you are the very best man and I love you.

Question of the Week-Advice for Newbies

As I am preparing to host my eighth spanking party, it occurred to me that I don't see a great deal of advice for new spankers/spankees.  While I am aware that many people get a much earlier start in the lifestyle than I did, we are all beginners at some point.  For many of us the fantasy was there long before the realization.  However, fantasy is just that...fantasy.  In reality you are entering into an intimate (even if no sex or sexual contact is involved), emotional, and sometimes scary situation. 

So for those of you that have spanked or been spanked many times or even once or twice, what advice would you give to a newbie?  What kinds of conversation should be involved, should implements be used immediately, do you start with discipline or play?  Any knowledge you can pass on would be much appreciated.

I remember when I was starting out, I soaked up information like a sponge.  It was a great help and any mistakes I made were my own. 

This has been posted on my fetlife group and my Yahoo group, and I will certainly post the remarks made at the end of the week!

Someone Spank Me...NOW!

I am in a drought.  Well, let me be more specific, I am in a spanking drought.  Certainly have plenty of water to drink, but not a paddle, brush, or belt in sight.

The dry spell has gone on for almost a year!  There are good reasons for this, exactly four of them.  After four hip surgeries in six months, spanking is not on the agenda for awhile.  Although I did have a good time explaining to my surgeon when I had to ask him when it would be safe to engage in this specific activity.  Believe it or not, spanking is not covered in the hip precaution booklet they give you in rehab.  I know its unbelievable, but there you are.

I neeeeeedd to be spanked.  Oh do I ever have the need.  Somehow before I got involved in this lifestyle, when it was all just a lovely fantasy, the need did not nag so cruelly.  But, it seems, once you start it is addicting.  Stopping cold and going through withdrawal does not work.  It only makes it that much more desireable and necessary.

My brain has all its cells on full alert every time I look at a spanking pic, view a video on fetlife, or even read the words!  I spend time looking at my implements and sighing.  I feel uncentered, and uncomfortable with myself.

Yes, there are some possibilities on the horizon and I only have to wait a month until I go to visit my Big Brother/Daddy for my birthday.  But, it would be wonderful if I didn't have to wait another month.  Actually in the next five minutes would be great, and yes I need the five minutes to brush my teeth and put on cute panties.

Right now I am planning my group's November spanking party so its in my face, so to speak.  A long time over a lap with my backside burning would just be perfect. 

Anyone else feel this way?

Hey, I'm BAAAACCCKKKKK and this time for good!

Many thanks to Spanked Hortic for wondering where the update was. I started writing this and had terrible problems posting so I am hoping this one will go through. I apologize for the lack of pictures but I can't seem to make that work either. Somebody needs a spanking! So I keep showing up, telling you my physical woes, and then, POOF, I'm gone again. Here we go again. In November of 2010 my Yahoo group, Our Need and Desire had our fall spanking weekend party. Leading up to this party I was in horrible pain, my right hip (the replaced one) was becoming impossible to manuever. And I was so exhausted that putting the party together was becoming total labor and no love. The Friday of the party, three of us were at Costco getting party food and I, literally, collapsed. My right leg decided it was done! I ended up at the ER and was admitted. The orthopedic surgeon (my new best friend and hero) found a break in my pelvis and a total displacement of the prosthetic. Thus began a six month journey through four surgeries, hospital stays, and lenghty rehab home stays. It seemed never ending. So after great quantities of blood, sweat, and tears, not always just mine, I am finally at the end of the tunnel. That famous light is shining right in my eyes. For the first time in many years I can walk without any pain. Tomorrow I have the stitches out from the final surgery and I am praying that we are done!! During this time my Sir died, my birth Dad died, and I had to have one of my beloved cats to sleep. During this time, my big brother (in the lifestyle) was there every single step of the way. If not at my side physically he was on the phone many times a day. He flew out to be with me for the second surgery so I would not wake up and be alone. I could never have had such wonderful outcome without him. During this time my lifestyle friends were there in every possible way. Visits to the hospital, to rehab were such a gift. I will always treasure how they were all there for me. Again, if not right there, then there on the phone. During this time I finally got my own apartment and moved! Since I had hip surgery I was and still am restricted in the kinds of movement I can handle. So I am living in the land of lost boxes. Can't unpack but at least I am here! Now I am anxiously, impatiently awaiting the ok to be spanked again. The last time a paddle, strap, or hand touched my bottom was September and I really need to have that connection again. Since my physical state is improving rapidly, I expect that to happen this summer!! So I'm back and hopefully its to stay. And then this can stop being a medical tragedy blog and get back to the joys and delights of spanking

A test post

Testing to see if I can post...

An Update on Purple Angel

Spanking Parties? Love em or Leave em part 1

This November I am hosting my sixth spanking party. The party has grown from about 15 people to around 35 or more. It is a weekend party held at a suburban Chicago hotel. My inspiration to embark on this wild and crazy journey was the fun I had and the people I met at my first Chicago Crimson Moon party. And I have never been sorry I jumped from that frying pan into my own fire!

Spanking parties have become a part of my social scene life. Spanking and impact play was the very first kink I explored (but certainly not the last). It is my most beloved fetish and the one I fantasized about throughout my life. Its no wonder then that it seems to need the bigger than life atmosphere of a party.

For those of you that haven't had the pleasure, a few highlights. You arrive, somewhat breathless, at the party hotel. Breathless? Sure! You ran ahead of the car, flew ahead of the plane, and jogged faster than the train to get to the unique event that would occupy you totally. If you have been to a previous party or participate in groups on fetlife, spankolife, or Yahoo, you probably can't wait to greet friends you haven't seen in awhile and meet new people that you only know online or from phone conversations.

Now let''s stand back and view the scene for a moment. Adults hugging and kissing, shaking hands, smiling, outbursts of laughter, and overheard snatches of conversation. "How are your kids doing", "is your mom feeling better", "did the move go smoothly" and you might think, family reunion. In a way you are right. It feels very much like family, the time seems to melt away and relationships pick up right where they left off.

As soon as you have promised about a million (smile) people a spot on your dance card, you escape to your hotel room to rest and refresh for the marathon is about to begin.

These weekend parties are, indeed, marathon spanking events. In fact I believe carb loading before you arrive might not be a bad idea. You will need every ounce of energy you can muster. There will early morning breakfasts, late late night "appointments", group events and meals, and inbetween all that, many delicious hours of spanking delights. Different positions, implements galore, party room spankings, and private room spankings...it stretches out in front of you in all its tantalizing and delicious delight. If you are a top you can't wait to see the panties come down baring the first bottom to wiggle in anticipation of your attention. If you are a bottom, you are delighting in the knowledge that you will go to bed much much later with a fantastic aching tingle that your hand just can't seem to stop rubbing. And oh if you are a switch, you happily contemplate both.

More tomorrow as we continue vicariously feeling it all. I am quite fortunate, in four weeks it won't be vicarious, I will be in the thick of my next party experience!

Unveiling my Blog or I will Lurk no More

Since today is Love our Lurkers day I decided to unveil my blog once again. It seems that this past year I have been my own best lurker! I am going to make, yet another, concerted effort to get my blog back on track and lurk no more!

The unfortunate reason for being a lurker (tightening the belt of my black trenchcoat) has been illness along with a startling number of depressing events in my life. I am not going into these since they are just that...depressing. However, I do reserve the right to use these for future blog fodder. And while life is not back to any semblance of normal, I love writing and I loved having this blog.

To remind you of who I am and for any first timers that drop by, I use the name Purple Angel and I am a spanko. At this point in my life I have learned, experienced, and evolved into a submissive spanko. I really don't switch anymore unless it is someone with whom I have a continuing connection. It has also become clear to me that I am a bit of a masochist. That was very difficult for me to accept but I have come to understand that it is not a negative concept. And I am very curious, love trying out new experiences.

I enjoy being active in the lifestyle community and I write spanking as well as BDSM stories. You can find many of my golden oldies right here, on Spankful Delight. I host spanking parties in the Chicago area and run a Yahoo group known as Our Need and Desire. If you would like more party info just let me know!

So a fresh start, and I hope you will not be a stranger. I will also make it a priority not to be a stranger on my own blog. What a crazy idea! But if you must lurk and not comment, I do hope you enjoy what you read. After all, bloggers often do this as an appropriate way to seek attention, there is no point in writing if you have no readers. Just my opinion....

Hope you enjoyed my newest unveiling and I look forward to sharing with you i the future!

You Scored as Submissive (((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominant person wouldn't be a bad idea. Submissive 86% Experimental 82% Masochist 75% Switch 61% Bondage 61% Sadist 46% Exhibitionist / Voyeur 39% Degradation Lover 39% Vanilla 18% Dominant 11%

Party and Toy Review

Well the spring Our Need and Desire party is now a lovely memory. It was a blast and we are beginning to plan our November party already. As you may guess I am still trying to get back in the swing of things, I am doing so much better but find it hard to keep up.

The party was our largest yet and we had spankos from Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Ohio, New York, Virginia, Maryland, Utah, and California. If I forgot a state you can spank me in the fall!! It was a time of socializing, spanking, food, fun, and a chance to be there for two very good friends in need.

First of all I must thanks CANE-IACS for their continued support of our parties. Not only are they kind, but they support those in the lifestyle. In this post I will tell you about their naughty sticks. They are AWESOME! The naughty stick prize was highly coveted and everyone that either felt or wielded one could not believe what a great implement it was. First of all it is fairly light and easy to handle. It can be used for play or serious misdemeanors. The length of it means you can cover both cheeks at the same time. No back and forth, just forth! It is also very good for serious sit spot coverage.

I love the cute sayings and you can order one that you design yourself. The price is right and it is a great addition to any toybag. I highly recommend this, and loved how it felt when being spanked. Wonderful, tingly sting!!

Party Time

I can hardly wait!! This Friday, May 21st is the Our Need and Desire spring spanking party and I know we are going to have a great time. For those who have not read my blog, my Yahoo group has two parties a year. One is in November and the other is in May. Its wonderful to see all my friends, socialize, and spank the weekend away.

This time we are having a spanking castle theme for Saturday night, with appropriate contests and games for all the Lords and Ladies of the realm. Our parties would not be as much fun without the generous sponsorship by lifestyle vendors. This time around we are being helped by Paddles and Panties, a new site that is just getting off the ground. And our returning friends at Cane-iacs have been incredibly generous. There is a link to Cane-iacs on this blog and I urge you to click and check them out. They have wonderful implements, books, and some truly entertaining "stuff" that is just for fun. Well, actually it is all for fun, hot spanking fun.

The two items pictured are from Cane-iacs and after the party I will be posting reviews of their merchandise. So stay tuned!

Submissive Switch

My life has taken an interesting turn. I am in a relationship with a very submissive man. I have many choices to make regarding this situation. First of all I am a submissive switch. I have been told that it is confusing but I am not confused at all.

I enjoy giving others what they need, that is part of my submissive nature. So switching has become part of the life I lead. I know its not for everyone but it does work for me. The one gentleman I am seeing is extremely submissive. Now please don't think this means weak or wimpy. Those in the lifestyle know it means no such thing. He is a strong and intelligent man. But he is a submissive. We are going to discuss whether or not we can meet each other's needs and if a relationship is possible.

You might wonder why I am even considering this. I don't like discounting anyone in my life for reasons that might be worked out. If I had done this I would not have many of the friends that I now love. He has been loyal and caring for over a year now, waiting for "his lady" to be ready to give this a try. I believe that even if we don't work it out we will be great friends and that is worth a great deal.

Switching has come to mean more to me than spanking, it embraces power exchange, he understands that as well. It is what he needs in his life, and I need it in mine. The area of D/s is one that hold many definitions. Being a submissive does not equate with slavery in my mind but it does in many others. Is anyone right or wrong? I don't think so, it is a matter or respecting each person's right to define their journey.

I love being spanked, I love having a man that watches out for me in a caring and protective way. But I also have to have my wings to fly. Micro management is not for me. But I am obedient to those that love me and I always will be. Such is the nature of my committment.

So weigh in with your opinion. Do you think switching is just a way of not committing to one specific role? Or is it a way that some of us are wired, to enjoy this amazing lifestyle in all its complexity. I don't think there is one right answer but I would love to hear all kinds of opinions

Question of the Week-Is spanking becoming more acceptable?

Ok now for all you spankers and switches, is this an appropriate target? Just kidding around, that is not what I am asking. I found this picture and it was labeled spanking. I suppose her bottom is redder than a usual bottom but I was curious about this. Is our lifestyle becoming more acceptable in society? This is simply a question and really not hoping that it is or is not. It just seems to me that there is more erotic literature appearing in mainstream bookstores that features both spanking and other aspects of bdsm. Lots of these novels feature D/s relationships and have a huge following.

One of the authors I read is Joey W. Hill. She is a pretty good writer and also seems very knowledgeable about spanking, domination, and submission. She has a website and a Yahoo group that I belong to.

This is just one example of a wider mainstream acceptance that seems to be happening. So do weigh in with your opinion. Are we getting our toes out of the closet or are we still in there except with those who are like minded? And do we really want the vanilla world mixed in the spanking world? I look forward to reading what you have to say.

A Word to All Those That Rudely Take Advantage

My evil Purple Angel twin is writing this blog. This is addressed to those of you that took advantage of my illness and absence, and tried to post comments that went from the sublime to the totally ridiculous. What is more amazing is that you never even noticed your comments never saw the light of day, since I moderated all comments.

So to all you spammers, KNOCK IT OFF! I am not posting what you write, you are wasting your time and my time. To those of you that don't write in English but only in oriental languages, I don't post anything I can't read. I moderate comments because I don't want the readers of my blog to be bored or offended by this type of nonsense.

If you feel you need to waste your time so be it. I will continue to reject your comments. And I am back blogging so get over this need you have to fill up my comment moderation section with garbage.

To those of you that are the real readers and commentators, I apologize but I had to say it and get it off my mind.

The evil twin is done, well at least for now.

My future looks bright..hopefully, bright red!

So I am finally settled in the newest place I have moved to, and it seems to be an excellent transition. Time to take a deep breath and move forward. One part of moving forward is the unexpected relationship that is developing with a terrific man. Yes, that has been something I know I have shared with you before, but I am no quitter and he seems to be the real deal. Well at least the deal I have been int4erested in finding.

He is a gentle, caring Dom who understands my feelings abut a Domestic Discipline partnership. We have talked, emailed, and yes, we have met. Each meeting draws us closer together, its quite wonderful. Oh and he does understand the absolute need for lots of fun and Just Because spankings. If these components were not there it would certainly be a deal breaker. I could not at this point in my life, consider a vanilla relationship. It would be dishonest and unfair to me and the man involved.

So I will see him next week and (holding my breath) I do believe I will get spanked...yes I said spanked. Oh and how I need that spanking.

If you tune in for the next post or soon thereafter I will share developments in this fantastic turn around in my life that was totally unexpected! Will she get spanked? Will she have that red bottom that seems so unobtainable? Like the lady in the picture, I will most certainly have a big (wicked) grin on my face if my fairytale comes true. Keep your fingers crossed!

Yes, angels return

I couldn't believe how long it has been since I blogged. My wings were well and truly clipped by a stroke..well actually two of them. It has taken quite awhile to get to the point where my eyes, fingers, and endurance can handle working on the computer. Believe me I have missed this very much.

The wonderful part of having something horrible happen is finding out how many people truly love and care about you. In fact, if nothing ever happened of much consequence I don't know how to find this out except for intuition. I am going to share some of my story, this is a warning you know. If you aren't interested now is the time to find that other blog you have been meaning to read.

After the first stroke, I lost my housing arrangements. Yes, I was in the hospital and the person I was sharing a house with decided that she did not want me to come back under these circumstances. It was shocking, it was frightening, and ultimately, it was for the best. When you find out that someone you held in high regard as a friend is no longer in your corner, it is time to move on before things get ugly. So when I left the hospital I spent the first two nights in a hotel. This was also scary. I was alone with very poor vision and terrible balance issues. My eating choices were limited since swallowing was also an issue. At that point another friend volunteered to take me in and I gratefully accepted.

Before I go any further I must mention my big brother. Readers of my blog know that I have a big brother in the lifestyle that I am obedient to for life. You can't imagine how much my situation stressed him out. We live quite a distance from each other so between the poor medical care I received initially and my housing situation, he was about to hop a plane. Needless to say he was also very gratetul when my friend stepped forward.

The move was temporary, I had to seek out better medical care since my symptoms were getting worse and my vision was almost no longer functional. The house I went to did not have a separate room for me nor did I have my own bed. This was uncomfortable but not impossible. Many issues arose during my stay there that, unfortunately, have now resolved themselves in a negative way. However, since not everyone that comes into your life is there forever you take the lessons you learn and move past it. They are either there for a reason, a season, or forever. I found out that some people come to teach you things you did not know or understand and then they move on.

After I got into an excellent hospital and received top notch care they sent me to a rehabilitation hospital and the progress continued. Since I still needed a place to stay, my sister wanted me to come and stay with her. This was to be mutually beneficial since my sister and brother in law were struggling and I could help out financially. I don't have much in the way of financial resources but I gave what I could. As I write this I am still at my sister's house but moving in two weeks to stay with a friend as I hunt for apartments. Considering that when I first went into the hospital I could not walk on my own, get up on my own and had to use a wheelchair I am proud to say I am pretty independent these days.

One of the brightest moments of the last few months was the fall party that my Yahoo group hosts. I got lots of email assuming the party was to be cancelled. But I assured one and all that, come hell or high water, that party was on! For purely selfish reasons I needed that party. I had to assure myself I was not only among the living, but back in my spanko community.

The party was a wonderful success and I got spanked, boy did I ever get spanked. The first night I was too tired to do much but by Saturday night I was ready to go! I got spanked and spanked others, what a joy. But my friends the best part was the feeling I got when we all gathered in the social room the first time on Friday night. It was like a family reunion, I felt as though I had come home to people that loved and cared about me. Now don't get me wrong, many were itching to spank me but I was itching to be spanked.

And I got to see, hug, and be spanked by my big brother. When I hugged him the first time, I started crying. I had been so afraid I would never see him again. One of my biggest fears had been that I would have another stroke and die without seeing the people I loved so much.

Now as for the blog, I am going to do my best to post regularly. My group's spring party is coming up in May. It is posted on my Our Need and Desire group, fetlife, and spankolife. I invite one and all to join in the fun. I will post more of the details in the next day or two. But for now my wings are tired and this purple angel is just happy to be back at home.

Flaming Fall Fannies-November party

Now that is a Flaming Fall Fanny!











Life of the Party

My Yahoo group, Our Need and Desire, is hosting its annual Fall party on the weekend of November 20-22,2009. We are delighted to open the option to all of you to attend and have some terrific spanking fun with great people in a very comfortable setting. So here is some information to help you making that decision that this is one party you can't miss!

Flaming Fall Fannies

Party fee is fifty dollars per person if paid by Oct 1st

Party fee is fifty five dollars per person if paid from Oct 1st-31st

Party fee is sixty dollars per person if paid from Nov 1st-Nov13th

The hotel cost is seventy nine dollars per night and our block is open until November 8th

You will get hotel information when I receive your party registration fee.

Your party fee includes:

Friday and Saturday delicious dinners

Party surprises and prizes for games

Snacks, soda, and bottled water throughout the weekend

Use of the social room throughout the weekend

Please contact me if you want a registration form and/or more information. You can reach me by leaving a comment here or using my email-vcm1413@sbcglobal.net

Our parties are friendly and open to new friends, age and size do not matter. You will have a great time.

An Update and Thanks to Those That Did Not Give Up

Well now, it has been awhile and I am sorry. I certainly deserve a spanking and I will make sure I get one for leaving my blog swinging in the breeze so long.

As of now I am back on schedule with work, my group's May party is going full speed ahead(if you are interested leave a comment), and I can't wait to tell you about Janine.

Oh surely you remember Janine? Parts 1-3 of the story Bitter and Cold. Ok here is the update or you can go down a few posts and read it. Janine was the sub of a man with a heart of stone who treated her very badly indeed. The day he left her because she was such an unworthy sub there was a knock on the door. There was the technician from the utility company to turn off the gas and electricity. Janine, in shock already, faints and cracks her head on the floor.

When she wakes up in the hospital, she has a concussion but her hero has stayed to find out how she is. The doctor is also interested in the man that was not in the apartment due to the horrible welts and bruises up and down Janine's legs.

That is where part 4 starts tomorrow. Any ideas of what will happen? Leave them on the comment page. And thanks to those who wrote to me, you are all just the best. Oh and as you can see from the picture I am in the perfect position for anyone who would like to get in some smacks on a naughty blogger's behind.

Hugs,

Purple Angel

Happy Valentine's Day

Comments - Graphics - Layouts - Photobucket

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Tomorrow Part four of Bitter and Cold.

Turning Up the Heat-Comments

Well my move is complete but the job of unpacking goes on....and on and on and on! However, before I continue the story Bitter and Cold I wanted to share the comments about the post on turning up the heat. This involved the concept of figging using fresh ginger and other salves and oils that heat up the bottom as well as genital areas. I do thank all of you that responded.

In my opinion using agents to heat up and stimulate the skin all depends on how sensitive the person's skin is that is the recipient. I have had Ben Gay used rectally and it is a quite a feeling. Even after being removed it still stings for quite awhile. I have often referred to it as an inside out spanking. However, we did discover that it started to cause problems because of my intestinal problems. That is why I think it is really important to be careful with substances on delicate tissue areas. Here are the comments from the others that joined in.

Johninill said...
Honestly? Never tried it and don't want to. If you can't accomplish the task with the usual implements and techniques, then you're not going to succeed

A.S.S. said...
We have certainly kicked around the idea of using something on the skin to enhance the sensation of a spanking... with Ben Gay being at the top of that list. Thing is, it's not a traditional part of a spanking... so for us, it's really not something that would work in a discipline spanking. With that off the table, the added pain might be a bit too much for something playful.Something we may try one day though!:)Todd & Suzy

PK said...
Purple,I read about figging and I really wanted to try it. I loved it! I love the burn/stinging sensation and it stops as soon as the root is removed so it is the kind of thing you can try and end it quickly if you find you don't like it.I love to use Ben Gay after a spanking because I love afterburn. I have been afraid to use in on a plug or anything because I was afraid it would be too incense and I wouldn't have a good way to stop it.This site has many people discussing their experiences with figging and with a few other experimental items. It makes an interesting read. http://www.figging.com/

SPANKEDHORTIC said...
If you want to try something a little more natural have a peppermint bath before your spanking. The recipe is simple crush about 2 handfuls of peppermint leaves, with a mortar and pestle, boil it up in about one and a half liters of water (three pints) and dump the lot, leaves and all, in your bath water (without bubble bath or salts). Peppermint is a natural muscle relaxant and like most of these it makes the skin more sensitive, mildly but noticeably. You end up smelling nice and minty too.Figging is fun but I find it a bit of a challenge sometimes.Prefectdt

Andrades Girl said...
Hi Purple AngelA very interesting question. I have read about figging and found the same website that PK speaks about. But I am too chicken to try that just yet. I am still getting used to the sensations/stinging of spankings. Spankedhortic's advice seems very interesting.Take care,Andrades Girl

Helixman said...
The figging thing...idk.However, I have been spanked after having baby oil spread on my bottom, hard, with a hairbrush which is intense. I have also been hairbrush spanked on a wet bottom - intense but less so than the baby oil.Incidently, about a blistered bottom,pure aloe vera juice, inexpensive, and availble at Walmart, is the best. For soothing post-spank, ice is good, directly moving a piece around the skin (and tres erotique), but Udder Cream out of the fridge will sooth a lot longer, also from Wally World.Lance

K said...
Be sure to give a review if you try the ginger. I'm a bit curious, too, but Hubby said the thought of f'ing me with produce just isn't appealing. I can't complain, though. He keeps me well satisfied with plenty of other ways.

Cigi said...
Oh Valorie you are either going to love my response for its candor or you're going to hate it for the same reason, but...here goes.In my opinion, when you start including penetration/insertion into the spanking scenario, you are no longer spanking...you're having sex. This is just my opinion. To me, anything inserted in exit only areas when I'm trying to enjoy my spanking would just detract...might as well just stop and have anal sex. As for finding an ointment or salve that sensatizes the skin for a spanking, I am not a fan of that either. It's like the spanker saying, "Well, my hand (or strap or paddle) isn't good enough to get the job done" or "I'm a sadist and I want it to hurt you as much as possible." I have tried some things in this area and just hated it. I always ended up having to take cold cream and remove whatever it was that was stinging. This is not in any way erotic to me. So my vote is NO on both counts. Sorry, my love, but you know I'm a purist!Love ya!Cigi

Anonymous said...
Although it sounds kinky and exciting to me, I've been told that substances like ben-gay may burn mucous membranes to the point of damage, and that straight peppermint oil, applied with a q-tip, had a pleasant burning sensation. Haven't tried figging yet, but want to! :)

I'll be back...really!

Well I am moving to a new place that I will be sharing with a friend. I can't tell you how happy I am to be leaving the place I have been living for the last four years. It will also be very nice to not live alone. In any case I won't be doing alot of posting for the next couple of weeks. I have to work and pack. So most of my communication will be by phone.

In the meantime you can think about whether figging is a good idea and what is going to happen to Janine in Bitter and Cold. I would love feedback. This is the first time I have written a mean or uncaring man in a spanking story. It is also the first time I am writing spanking into a mystery.

Take care one and all, I promise to be back!

Question of the Week-Turning up the heat

This week's question is one I have been curious about for a long time. When I am very naughty and the person spanking me is not sure my bottom can take as much as he thinks it deserves (and he does not like bruising) I have had Ben Gay inserted into my bottom. I assure you this is like getting an inside out spanking, although it does no harm. Oh and of course yes he does spank with whatever implement he chooses after inserting that awful stuff. He has also said he would like to find an ointment or salve to increase the sensitivity of my bottom for spanking.

I have never experienced figging but I have read many accounts. Sounds like a good news/bad news deal to me. So what I am asking my readers is how you feel about using substances to increase the sensitivity of the areas being spanked. In some cases this includes genital areas as well. The only thing I ask is that if you post please don't identify a substance that can be harmful. If you aren't sure please post that you don't know for sure. So have you tried it? Would you try it? Which ones have worked well? And lastly, do you find any a turn on?

Bitter and Cold Pt 3 M/f spanking fiction

The serviceman from the power company dropped his clipboard and knelt down next to the unconscious woman. He had seen people react many ways to shutting off their power but this was a first for him. He could tell this was not an act, no one could force their skin to turn that color.

He gently turned Janine over and patted her face gently, "Ms. Grant, Ms. Grant", in his anxiety assuming the woman on the floor was Paul Grant's wife. As he moved his hand to gently pull her skirt down he noticed the ugly welted bruises up and down her thighs. There were fresh ones and a number that looked much older. They were yellow and starting to heal. He shook his head, it never ceased to amaze him what people would do to those they supposedly cared about. But for right now he was most concerned that she was not regaining consciousness. He noticed the large lump starting to form on her forehead and decided that he might now quite a bit about electrical circuits but he knew very little about the circuitry of the brain. He opened his cell phone and dialed 911.

Voices from far off were calling her name. "Janine can you open your eyes?" What a dumb question she thought, of course I can open my eyes. However, as she tried she realized it was going to be more difficult than she thought it would be. When she tried to move her head there was a heavy, dull pain and she groaned. "Get Dr. Ferris, I think she is starting to wake up." Another voice she didn't recognize. As Janine struggled to open her eyes all she saw was fuzzy gray outlines. Suddenly a light was shining in her eyes and she struggled to move her head but it was held securely. As the torturous light beamed in each eye, Janine began to see colors and distinct lines. "Now that is looking better", boomed a hearty voice. The voice was cheery but loud and Janine winced at the ache in her head. The Dr. smiled and lowered his voice considerably. "Sorry about that. But we are very glad to see those pretty eyes open. You, my dear, have a serious concussion and we have spent the better part of a day and night hoping you were going to wake up pretty soon." He patted Janine's hand as he realized the amount of shock she was in from all this information. "I am Dr. Ferris and you are at Mercy Hospital. I do believe a young man brought you in. That headache you have is going to last awhile unfortunately, although now that you are awake we can give you a mild pain reliever.

Janine heard nothing past a young man brought you in. Paul...it had to be Paul, he came back and found her. Oh God he saved her life. "Oh please can I see him?" The Dr. smiled, patted her hand again, gave the nurse orders as to what to give her and assured Janine she could certainly see her good Samaritan.

The Dr. left the room and within a few minutes a tall very slender man in a gray uniform walked in looking very awkward. His sandy brown hair was tousled and he had deep blue eyes that looked at Janine curiously. "Hey there glad to see you are doing better, you sure gave us a scare."

"Who are you, where is Paul", Janine's voice was sharper than she intended but this was becoming very confusing. The young man sat down in the chair next to her bed.

"Oh well your husband wasn't home when I got there. I guess you don't remember after that awful bump on your head." He winced as he looked at the huge lump which was now turning a horrible shade of deep purple. "All we could find in your purse was your name and information. I guess you use your maiden name since there was nothing with Grant on it."

Turning her head slightly to the side Janine winced, "He isn't my husband, we live together. I thought when they said a man brought me in that it was him." A few tears trickled down her cheeks. Her voice became cold and leaden, "Please leave, I just want to be alone." In her misery it never even occurred to her to thank the man who had seen to her safety.

Rob awkwardly stood up pushing the chair back and watching Janine crunch her face at the squeal it made on the floor. "I am sorry Ma'am, hope you are better really soon. I am sure I can get the power company to wait until this all gets straightened out." Waving her hand at him, Janine paid no attention to what he was saying. As the nurse walked in with a hypodermic Rob nodded and walked out the door.

As he started down the hallway the Dr caught him by his arm. Sorry son, I didn't get your name."

"Oh its Robert Powell, I work for the power company. When I came to disconnect the power today she fainted and that is when her head was injured."

The doctor nodded, "I see, so you are not her boyfriend or husband. We would like to talk to him if you happen to have any information about him."

Rob handed the doctor the card for the power company service office, "They can help you, all I know is that his name is Paul Grant and he lives at this address." Rob wrote it on the back of the card. "But the lady says it is not her husband, but that she lives with him." Rob shuffled his feet, "I couldn't help but notice all the well, bruising on her legs. Is she going to be alright?"

The doctor looked at him gravely, "That is what we would like to talk to Mr. Grant about. Thank you for your information. You have been very helpful.'

Rob started towards the elevator and turned back, "Is it ok if I come back and visit, just to make sure she if doing ok?"

The doctor smiled, "Of course you can and I am sure that Janine will appreciate it."

The nurse swabbed down the area where she had just given Janine a shot. "Now this will help the pain in your head and make you sleep. Don't you fight it sweetie. You need to rest." Before the nurse walked out the door she hesitated, "Janine is there anything you would like to talk about? You know, of course, we all saw your legs. Its hard to miss. Honey, is someone hurting you?"

It took a moment for Janine to get what the nurse was talking about. Her legs?.. Oh the bruises. "She shook her head, "No it is just because I did not do as I should, I deserved it." Then she repeated Paul's favorite phrase, "Bad girls get spanked." Of course had she been coherent she would never have revealed such information to the nurse but she was already sinking off to sleep.

The nurse left the room shaking her head. The doctor looked at her quizzically. "All she would say is bad girls get spanked." Her face was pinched in anger, "I would like to get my hands on the bad boy that did that to her." She stried off to the nurse's station.

Shaking his head the doctor went off to visit other patients not knowing that the woman with the abused legs and buttocks would become a very interesting mystery.