My life has taken an interesting turn. I am in a relationship with a very submissive man. I have many choices to make regarding this situation. First of all I am a submissive switch. I have been told that it is confusing but I am not confused at all.
I enjoy giving others what they need, that is part of my submissive nature. So switching has become part of the life I lead. I know its not for everyone but it does work for me. The one gentleman I am seeing is extremely submissive. Now please don't think this means weak or wimpy. Those in the lifestyle know it means no such thing. He is a strong and intelligent man. But he is a submissive. We are going to discuss whether or not we can meet each other's needs and if a relationship is possible.
You might wonder why I am even considering this. I don't like discounting anyone in my life for reasons that might be worked out. If I had done this I would not have many of the friends that I now love. He has been loyal and caring for over a year now, waiting for "his lady" to be ready to give this a try. I believe that even if we don't work it out we will be great friends and that is worth a great deal.
Switching has come to mean more to me than spanking, it embraces power exchange, he understands that as well. It is what he needs in his life, and I need it in mine. The area of D/s is one that hold many definitions. Being a submissive does not equate with slavery in my mind but it does in many others. Is anyone right or wrong? I don't think so, it is a matter or respecting each person's right to define their journey.
I love being spanked, I love having a man that watches out for me in a caring and protective way. But I also have to have my wings to fly. Micro management is not for me. But I am obedient to those that love me and I always will be. Such is the nature of my committment.
So weigh in with your opinion. Do you think switching is just a way of not committing to one specific role? Or is it a way that some of us are wired, to enjoy this amazing lifestyle in all its complexity. I don't think there is one right answer but I would love to hear all kinds of opinions
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2 comments:
I have been a switch for years - more than a decade. At first, I thought I was submissive because I enjoyed a nice spanking but then I realized that I also love to give spankings.
With my current partner, we tend to use the terms 'giver' and 'receiver'. To us, this describes the roles perfectly. The giver is a decision maker but is trying to please the receiver. The receiver doesn't know exactly what will be coming but is trusting in the giver.
Switching doesn't means you can't commit to a role. It means that you have different parts of your personality and like to explore both.
Personally - I think people who don't switch are really missing something. Taking each role means I learn something about each that I then bring to the opposite role. In other words, I think it makes me a better giver and receiver to be both.
I'm not sure why people have such hangups about switching. Its about giving and taking and that's what relationship are about too.
Hope this helps you in your exploration.
anne
p.s. my partner is probably more of a receiver than I am but he is very protective of me. Being the spankee does not necessarily mean you are submissive in all parts of your life. My partner probably seems to the outside world like a dominant. Just goes to show you - you never know!
I am a submissive switch and my lady is a dominant switch. She likes to be topped and spanked. I like to top and spank. She always has the last word. I see no reason to "decide" on one way or the other. We like it like this and don't really care if anyone else approves or not.
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