A Matter of Definition

The topic of private or witnessed spanking comes up quite a bit on some of the groups I belong to, especially Crimson Moon around party time. I used to think it was pretty cut and dry. Private meant you and one other person, and witnessed was others watching. But I think there is more to it than that. So I thought I would share my definitions of these terms and when I think each may or may not be appropriate in my opinion and, actually, for me. I can't speak about what works for anyone else.

So the first type is a private spanking. I think there are two types. One is the spanker and spankee together and one may be a spanking where another person is involved. For example if I was being disciplined for something I had done that affected someone else they may very well have the right to witness the spanking. It would still be private from anyone uninvolved. I also feel that discipline spankings are best handled in private, they are two personal/intimate for a public display. I also feel intensely erotic spankings are best done privately for obvious reasons. Privacy, from my point of view, includes closed doors and a reasonable assurance that you can't be heard if the goings on get a bit loud.

When I get disciplined it usually means no clothes and this is another reason for privacy. I know being spanked for being a bad girl may involve a certain amount of embarrassment but I don't want to be humiliated. That is not part of what I need or want. A fiery red bottom is great but a fiery red face is not necessary in my opinion.

Now to open the category of witnessed spankings just a little further it could also include a small group of spankos who are getting together for some fun or play spanking. Perhaps a spanking bench is used. While the group may witness the spankings it is not open to the public and, in my definition, would be people who have a certain comfort level with each other.

Which brings us to public spankings. Now in the context of a spanking party atmosphere these have come to mean spankings given in a party room where any party attendee may be present. In this context it only refers to those in the lifestyle/scene.

But what about the wider public? How about those fabulous outdoor spanking fantasies that have the (very rare but possible) viewing of vanilla public? Is a couple of swats on the bottom in a grocery store a public spanking? See what I mean, so much of it is definition.

And how do I feel about it?

1. Discipline is a private matter for me whether I am the top or the bottom

2. No problem being spanked for fun or play in front of others in the lifestyle although if it were a large party group I would probably want the only bare part of me to be my bottom.

3. Still hoping that I get to live that outdoor spanking fantasy as long as the possibility of being seen is almost nil.

4. Erotic spanking is private, always.

5. Certainly never mind a little swat on the backside over my clothes in public.

So? Where are your boundaries?