How Lonliness Looks

When I went looking for pictures to go with the idea of lonliness, I kept coming back to this one. I know that from most spanko's point of view it would be considered a beautiful picture of corner time. But for me it truly expresses the emptiness I feel right now.

I feel so cold all over, my heart, my body, especially my bottom. Knowing that the New Year's Eve we planned will not be taking place and I will be alone is starting to get harder, not easier to live with. Knowing that I won't ever feel his warm, hard hand landing on my tender skin makes my eyes well with tears while that hand did nothing but put a smile on my face. This year went so fast and now when I look back I see all the lovely events and none of the problems that led to an inevitable break up.

Yes, I saw it coming but I hoped, oh how I hoped, we might reconcile certain issues and remain together. It wasn't to be. What is also so hard is at this time of year so many people come together, get engaged, make plans to be with each other always. Instead GC and I had to throw away our plans and face a rather bleak holiday.

So, as we all do from time to time, I am struggling to get myself up off the ground and back on my feet. Of course me body had to put in its two cents and show off with a terrific case of bronchitis. That of course will end and go away, and I can only hope the lonliness will to.

So my friends I know that all relationships begin and end in one way or another. Do you think sometimes it is harder to maintain a spanko relationship considering you each might have different wants and needs? Just a thought.

Bitter and Cold-Pt 2 Spanking Fiction M/f

Janine lay under the down comforter in the morning light thinking back to the events of the last few weeks. The events that led up to Paul leaving her. Unfortunately her mind was so consumed with her sorrow and guilt at not being able to be submissive enough that she was missing some of the problems that would unfortunately make themselves very clear.



She brushed her chocolate brown hair out of her face and buried her face further into the pillow. When Paul had invited her to move in with him she had never looked ahead to what would happen if she had to move out. Of course, it had never occured to her that Paul would simply pick up and leave her in his apartment. She sat up in bed. Of course, it was so simple, he was coming back. He had to come back. This was just to scare her into being good.



In some ways it matched the first spanking he had given her after she moved in. Up to that point spankings were serious or fun depending on the circumstances, but it was never more than she could take. She might end up crying but there was always Paul's comforting embrace to look forward to along with incredible lovemaking.



But the day she moved in, she remembered being giddy and excited. She had carried all her boxes up in the elevator and piled them in the room Paul had indicated. He seemed very amused by her attitude until she brushed by one of the tabletops on her way out the door and knocked over a candlestick. Janine scrambled to catch it but it hit the floor before she could reach it.



Looking up at Paul with wide blue eyes, she fumbled over an apology, "Oh honey I am so sorry, I will pay for it, I promise."



Paul's face went cold as he promised, "You certainly will pay for it love, in more ways than you know." With those words he pulled her towards a hard chair to the side of the couch. "Take off those pants and your shirt, now Janine."



She had never seen his face quite this way, a small dart of panic coursed through her. "Now wait Paul, it was an accident, you know that. It wasn't on purpose."

Paul lost no time, his dark eyes became angry and he grabbed Janine's arm as he pulled off her blouse and yanked off her jeans. As panic set in Janine began to struggle to get away. Paul pulled her close to him by one arm, "Stop that immediately, you will obey everything you are asked to do and obey it immediately." He obviously did not feel Janine had the proper submissive expression or attitude since he sat down on the chair and pulled her over his knee roughly. As her arm automatically went back to protect herself he pulled it out of the way unmoved when she screamed from the pain of it being bent so far out of position.

But she was in no way ready for the spanking he was prepared to give over the broken glass and poor submissive attitude. His hard hand began slapping on her upper thighs back and forth. She had no idea a hand could cause so much pain, but then he had never spanked that area before. "Paul stop please, this is too much." Janine screamed and struggled to no avail. He held her tightly in place as he reached into the table drawer next to the chair. All Janine heard was the scrape of wood and began to struggle anew. It did her no good.

Paul's voice was smooth and cold, "Janine you are here at my invitation. You are my submissive. This spanking will teach you what I expect you to take without any arguement or struggle. If you can't do that, then get out....is....that...clear?" Each word was punctuated with a very dramatic smack of a wooden paddle.

Janine could hardly breathe, it hurt so much, "Yes", she gasped, "I understand, I'll behave, really I will. Oh God, don't throw me out."
That spanking would never be forgotten since it left bruises and blisters on her butt. She couldn't sit for several days nor could she wear panties since there were severe bruises in the creases and down her thighs. Paul pointed out to her several times that this would happen whenever she disobeyed.

Considering the condition of her body she did not point out to him that it was an accident. From that point on, Janine's life was under Paul's direction at all times. And no matter what she tried to do it was never enough or what he wanted.

Could she be right though, was this possibly a scheme of Paul's to improve her behavior? She swung her legs over her bedside energized by the thought that Paul might be back that very day. She showered very quickly and got dressed snapping her collar in place.

As she straightened out the kitchen there was a knock on the door. Janine opened the door and there was an electrical company worker there. He looked up at her, "Mr. Paul Grant?"

"No he's not at home, can I help you?" Janine looked at him quizzically.

"Well ma'am, I have to turn off your power, the bill is overdue by two months. Unless you can pay in cash right now, I have to disconnect the power. Now the man had been perfectly nice and polite, he always tried to break the news as gently as he could, so he was not at all prepared for the next event.

Janine looked at the man with total disbelief, her face turned a horrible shade of gray and she sank, like a sack of flour, straight to the floor.

Sadness

I apologize for not continuing the story I started, I shall try to have the next part tomorrow. In fact, writing is kind of tough right now. GC and I have ended our relationship and while we are keeping things on a friendly level, it is still very sad and certainly is a rift in my life that I didn't expect at this point.

There is no blame to be tossed around, that is always pointless since in the ending of a relationship it is usually true that both parties bear some blame. But after the first few days you do start to remember the parts that were so very good and that hurts.

Right about now I wished I lived next door to my big brother, I need a spanking so much. No, I don't think I have done anything wrong but a therapy spanking would let out all that I am choking on inside.

So I will do my best to finish the story as soon as possible but I hope you will bear with me if my focus just isn't where it should be.

After all vanilla or spanko, endings can be very painful for all involved.

Bitter and Cold-pt 1 spanking fiction M/f

How did things ever get this far out of hand? Janine sat on the edge of her bed and shivered in the morning air. She wrapped her arms around herself as the numbness of her situation began to set in. Paul was gone, he had left last night. All of her dignity drained out of her as she had begged him to stay, promised to do better, to be more, anything he wanted.

As he threw his clothes in his suitcase he let out a sarcastic laugh and told her not to be ludicrous. He turned to look at her, his arrogant but handsome face cold and unfeeling. "Doyou know how long I have waited for you to be better? Its been months and you still are a rotten submissive. You don't know how to behave in this lifestyle and you never will. I have no more time to waste on training you." The haughty tone of his voice chilled her.

Janine tried to still the trembling in her voice, she hated it when she felt weak. "But Paul, I have never had to be in this type of life before, it takes getting used to and understanding all that you expect of me. I have worked hard at it. But learning how to submit is not easy."

He slammed the lid of his suitcase and locked it, "Well Janine that is the problem isn't it? I need a submissive in my life who understands how to, when to, where to, without constant instruction. I need one that understands the consequences if she doesn't submit and accepts them appropriately. Now really, can you see yourself ever doing that?"

The acute misery on her face was all the answer he needed. She could no more tell him that she certainly knew she do that, then she could suddenly fly around the room. The punishments he administered took her breath away but not as she hoped spanking would. He left marks all up and down her thighs and calves. His cane whipped at her bottom unmercifully. She hated being bound in place and made to scream in pain. But she tried, oh how she tried. She kept her collar on at all times, unless he gave her permission to take it off to shower or sleep. Never did she talk back to him but it was the obediance. No matter how much effort she put into it she could not seem to obey him enough.

He always pointed out some aspect that was lacking and therefore needed to be spanked out of her. But his idea of spanking....seemed so far off from what all her fantasies had been.

When she had first met Paul at a friend's spanking party he had seemed to enjoy her silly and sassy behavior. He smacked her bottom playfully and told her to behave herself. Of course her obvious answer was "make me." And that was all it took to get the spanking she had so wanted. He held her tight over his knee and spanked over her skirt before lifting it and lecturing her on what a naughty girl she was. Giggling at what he said brought more stinging spanks but this time with a hairbrush over her panties. As she yelped and ouched, she knew he would give her more. Oh and how she wanted it. Before long her panties were down and she was getting a paddling that had her zoning out as she never had. And that wasn't the end of it. He rubbed and caressed her until she thought she would lose her mind.

When he stood her on her feet she wobbled and he held her and rubbed her back. She leaned into him and was lost in the sensations of her tender bottom, the masculine smell of him, and drowning in his sensual eyes. She was sure this was the man she had been desperately searching for all her adult life.

And now he was gone and she wasn't drowning in his eyes, she was simply drowning. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over her. Tears both angry and sorrow filled dampened her pillow. But as miserable as she felt at this moment there was no way she could prepare for what was coming next.

Let It Snow!

There have been a number of posts on my Yahoo group about snow spanking. Now of course we all understand this is not about spanking snow men and women but getting real spankings outdoors in a snowy winter environment. Since I have never had this experience all my thoughts are pure fantasy. However, I do love snow and I am the first kid on the block out there making snow angels so I just know I would love it if I had a really warm bottom to contrast with the icy cold snow.

So rather than a parody of Christmas songs (which I probably will get around to) I thought I might try "Let It Snow". You may skip this next part and I promise not to be offended in the least.

"Oh the weather outside is frightful

But that paddling was delightful

And since you made my bottom glow

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

You haven't shown signs of stopping,

And I know I'll get a cropping,

But I love when its nice and slow,

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

When you finally hug me tight,

How I'll love sitting down in a drift

But unless I am glowing bright,

My poor bottom is bound to be miffed.

The cold snow has me sighing

And my endorphin rush is flying

So since we both love this so

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Well anyone who got through that and is still reading on, I thank you very much. So my lovely readers, lurkers, commenters, followers what do you have to say about the snow and spanking? Were they made for each other or am I nuts? No doubt some of you think anyone who loves snow is a little wacky. But no, its not true, I am not wacky, I just enjoy getting a whack or two in a most convenient place!